Hi my names pulsexq, im 24 and was diagnosed with colorectal cancer stage 3 when i was 22. i just got done with a 2 year long treatment of radiation, chemo, having a colonoscopy bag for almost a year and having surgery. im cancer free but things have changed. im on a mild antidepressant that helps with sleep and my mood has gotten alot better. i no longer have feelings that everyone is going to die in a horrible way and i i dont no longer cry at the drop of a hat. 2 weeks ago i got a job working 40 hours a week at a furniture store and its a really nice job the only thing is i cant care about money in the slightest way i only want it to travel around the world and see things, but then again im scared to do that on my own and i have no friends. yesterday my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me and it was for the best for both of use. i live with my mom in a small town were i feel stuck, my family thinks im just sad right now and never want to talk to me about how im feeling. my girlfriend was the last person i had to talk to about how i was feeling so now i have no one and thats why im here. i dont care about items, i gave all my belongings away, except my computer. im uninterested in doing anything. no hobbies no nothing it seems pointless to me. i dont want to own a house and im stuck at a job that give me 800 a month. so suicide was just a thought that used to float around in my head but now its getting closer to something i would do. just wanted to hear what you guys thought because im dealing with this on my own.