I need some advice

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pulsexq, Jan 13, 2013.

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  1. pulsexq

    pulsexq New Member

    Hi my names pulsexq, im 24 and was diagnosed with colorectal cancer stage 3 when i was 22. i just got done with a 2 year long treatment of radiation, chemo, having a colonoscopy bag for almost a year and having surgery. im cancer free but things have changed.

    im on a mild antidepressant that helps with sleep and my mood has gotten alot better. i no longer have feelings that everyone is going to die in a horrible way and i i dont no longer cry at the drop of a hat.

    2 weeks ago i got a job working 40 hours a week at a furniture store and its a really nice job the only thing is i cant care about money in the slightest way
    i only want it to travel around the world and see things, but then again im scared to do that on my own and i have no friends.
    yesterday my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me and it was for the best for both of use.

    i live with my mom in a small town were i feel stuck, my family thinks im just sad right now and never want to talk to me about how im feeling. my girlfriend was the last person i had to talk to about how i was feeling so now i have no one and thats why im here.

    i dont care about items, i gave all my belongings away, except my computer. im uninterested in doing anything. no hobbies no nothing it seems pointless to me.
    i dont want to own a house and im stuck at a job that give me 800 a month. so suicide was just a thought that used to float around in my head but now its getting closer to something i would do.

    just wanted to hear what you guys thought because im dealing with this on my own.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you have battled through so much hun i know you are in pain hun but don't let this end your dream of traveling hun. Get out hun meet new people travel to smaller places even day trips who know you may meet someone with the same spirit as you I hope you continue to talk here as well make new friends here hun h ugs
  3. pulsexq

    pulsexq New Member

    i really apreciate it total eclipse. ive checked back 3 times to see if anyone else has responded and every time i cry from reading your response. it means alot to me.
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You may not feel like it but you have achieved so much. You have beaten the cancer, physically and psychologically, you have got yourself a job and you have a dream to travel around the world. Travelling is certainly possible, keep saving up and you will have enough money in no time. Are there any activities that interest you, or are there things that you used to enjoy before the cancer, just to give you something to do to keep your mind off things? I know that when you are severely ill the illness becomes the focal point in your life, then when it's gone you don't have anything to focus on anymore, and you can kinda feel like "what do I do now?" You are very strong, and you can achieve your dreams. My cousin has recently been travelling across Australia and New Zealand, before that she was a tour guide in Spain and it was the best thing she ever did. So many friends, so many memories, so many experiences.
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