I need some advice...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lady Youth, Jun 25, 2016.

  1. Lady Youth

    Lady Youth Active Member

    So on another forum site I'm on, I've made most of my good friends.

    I've also come across a couple people (about eight, over the course of the year) who think a site dedicated to video games is a dating site, and since I am one of very few active female users, who try to ask me to hook up with them in real life or give me weird declarations of love after two conversations. I try to be polite and let them down easy. When they get belligerent, it's fixed pretty easily by blocking them.

    However, one (particularly reputable) user has a lot of friends who find his gimmick of being obsessing over female characters and generally all things female has recently latched on to me. I was linked to a private community board where I found topics he made about me before we had started talking.

    Since he was popular and well-liked, I didn't want to make a scene, so I just tried to laugh it off, but this has been going on for over six months, and he keeps talking about me, and I continued getting less and less convinced it was just a silly joke.

    Recently, he's found my actual FaceBook, and he sent me some pictures I've posted elsewhere, and when I blocked him, he created alts and started messaging me via them, and I'm legitimately afraid.

    I have some friends who are fighting for me about this, but he has a larger following than I do who insist he's just funny and "based" and that he doesn't mean it and doesn't deserve persecution.

    What should I do?
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi honey, I feel so sorry for you. What country are you in? This is stalking and scary, please report it to the authorities and cut off all contact with this person and he will soon get bored. Cyber bullying is a crime. ((hugs))
    Lady Youth likes this.
  3. Lady Youth

    Lady Youth Active Member

    United States, but he is not. I think he's in the UK?

    Yeah, I haven't spoken directly to him in months, but...he just keeps going.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I don't know what you should do to be honest or can do legally, can you contact your local citizens advice centre and get advice there? How long has this been going on? and were they just ordinary pics of you? we're here for you.
  5. Lady Youth

    Lady Youth Active Member

    I don't really have the means to contact anything like that. Limited transportation and whatnot. I'm kind of in the middle of nowhere.

    Yes, the pics were just regular selfies. I've never posted anything suggestive in nature online. But it creeped me out that he managed to find them, still...and he has asked me for nudes before. (I obviously declined.)

    This has been going on for about six months.

    Thank you, by the way.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You need to just keep blocking him out of your life, get a new facebook account using a different name or delete your facbeook. He will get bored in time when he sees its not bothering you, he's a fucking asshole, excuse my french, karma will get him.
    Lady Youth likes this.
  7. You can thank Facebook for removing strict message filtering when they updated their privacy policy. If he's able to continuously make accounts, then it means he's likely using a VPN. It's amazing how Facebook willingly discarded the one option that could protect their users from common harassment like this.
    Lady Youth likes this.
  8. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    I have on one occasion had a similar problem as this gentleman. One time I obsessed over this girl, I thought I was in love but really, it was something different. Once I was back on medications it wasn't an issue. It sounds counter-intuitive, but this guy, if he is like me, really needs help. Medications, sleep, maybe even therapy. For me the obsessive behavior was focused on trying to get some response. I didn't care really if she was happy or loved me back I just wanted a response back. The most important thing is that he develops some sense of dignity. If he has dignity, he won't pursue someone who doesn't feel the same way about him.
    Michel and Lady Youth like this.
  9. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    Aside from that, do whatever makes you feel more comfortable, get a dog, a boyfriend, pepper spray. Report him to police, get a restraining order. Whatever you need.
    Lady Youth likes this.
  10. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    I left out the most important part. This guy needs to sexually relieve himself. This kind of craziness happens when a guy keeps it in for too long. I don't know how you can forward that message to him, maybe you can give me a link or something to his page.