i need some advice....

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by aviewfromchaos, Mar 10, 2010.

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  1. aviewfromchaos

    aviewfromchaos Well-Known Member

    one of my best friends is cutting herself almost every day and i need some advice on what to tell her to help her through it. since i don't know much about this area of self-harm. anything would be appreciated. =]
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Aw, your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. I'm sorry that she is hurting so much though.

    Don't ever make her stop by running a guilt trip, or by making her promise not to do it. That is what a lot of people do and it can hurt both the relationship and also the person further. It can also make the self harm more of a problem.

    Really, just be there for her, listen if you feel able and if she wants to talk. Offer to go with her to appointments and seek support with you, if you can. Maybe ask her what you can do to help. It's different for each of us and she will know what will and won't help her.

    There will be a reason for it, even if she is not aware of one. Self harm is essentially a symptom of something else, so be patient with her.

    Also make sure that you seek support for yourself too because it can be very challenging supporting someone who self harms.
  3. aviewfromchaos

    aviewfromchaos Well-Known Member

    this really helps. thanks. im the first person she's opened up to about it, so im trying to do my best to help her through it.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    She obviously values you very highly, so that's a huge compliment.

    If it comes up, it might also be worth talking to her about good wound care so that she knows how to avoid getting an infection.
  5. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    Sweety if your friend is hurting herself then, the best u can do its to talk to her about her worries and what is bothering her at the moment.
    Self harmers deal with inner feelings by hurting the outside. As scum mentioned before, help her to look for some counceling, or some professional assistant in the matter. But do not force her, since the need to stop must come from within her.
    IN the meantime what u can do is to not let her alone, and take her out to shop or to the movies or to do something together so she can clear her mind, thats helpfull . People who self harm hardly will do it in front of loved ones, and if she opened with u like that, means she loves u and trust u enough to tell u and know ur not gonna freak out.

    thats all i can really say. Good luck with ur friend i hope she gets better!
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