I'm depressed and been having suicidal thoughts recently. The reason why I am depressed is multifold. I'm under too much pressure and I feel trapped. I'm in my last semester of college, but I don't have a job, while everyone one I know does. Don't give me any BS about 'the economy or examples of other people that don't have jobs.' It doesn't make me feel better. I like to strive to be the best. The worst part is my parents keep on pressuring me about the job. I don't have a good relationship with my parents so I don't want to talk to them about it. I know exactly what I want to do. I've been working hard to get there, i.e. interning, reading industry books, etc... But try as I might, I can't get an interview or full time offer. And the reason is, I made a mistake my Freshmen and Sophomore years by getting a bad GPA. Bad GPA = no interview. Now of course, I could try to get a job in another industry, but I know I wouldn't be happy. And I'd likely be pigeon holed in the job and never be able to transfer to the industry I want to be in. I won't be motivated to do something I don't want to do. I'd be depressed still. I wouldn't be able to fake an interview and pretend I liked what I was getting into. There is just so much pressure I can't stand it. My friend is looking for a roommate next year and he's waiting for me to get a job, but I can't. I don't want to leave him hanging and I also feel bad that I am leaving him hanging. My current roommate is looking to sublet our apartment. I'd love to sublet except I don't have a job and as a result, I don't know if I should sublet yet. But I don't want to keep him hanging and have him lose the interested subletters. My parents keep on complaining about not having money etc and that I need a job. But I can't get one. I've tried. I guess one good thing is, I do have an exam/interview coming up. And it's for a job I really want. I've been studying a lot for the job, reading all the books I can. But the thing is, I'm starting to doubt myself. I don't think I can pass the exam and get the interview. And I know this is my one and only shot at it. The doubt is also preventing me from learning the material, which in turn makes me depressed, which intern makes me doubt myself more etc.. I can't break through this cycle. I guess I should hold of my suicidal thoughts until after the exam/interview, but the pressure is just not helping out. But I just can't do it.