I need some help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sophie, Jan 28, 2008.

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  1. Sophie

    Sophie Member

    Hi everyone.

    I am new here so will quickly introduce myself. My name is Sophie and I'm 20 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years. We met on holiday when I was 14 and he was 16 and have been together ever since. We spent the first 4 years living 100 miles apart, then I moved into his parents when I was 18, but he ended the relationship at Xmas 2006 to go off with someone he worked with. I ended up moving away to my Mums but we got back together 5 weeks after the split. I forgave him and got over it, and things have gone well since getting back together in January 2007.

    Now, out of the blue he has said he isn't happy and might not want to continue with me as he doesn't see a happy future. I have tried to talk to him about his worries, but he doesn't seem to open up and tell me what concerns him. I feel lost and I want to know where I stand, but the thought of losing him again is tearing me apart and making me feel suicidal.

    I tried to kill myself in July 2006 when things went wrong with us. His friend has always been a problem, she fancies him and used to send him lots of rude text messages and I went completely mad when she touched him up in front of me, when she knew how I felt. Whilst I took the overdose my boyfriend sat there and continued to text her...didn't even look at me as I swallowed handfuls of pills. I went to hospital and was ok, but I thought that would make him realise the hurt he was causing me.

    Things were looking up for us, 2007 was good for us, we went away a lot and had a great time celebrating his birthday in Nov and Xmas and his brothers wedding just before xmas...and now, out of nowhere, he says he may not want to be with me, after everything we have been through. I know I won't cope being without him again, and I'm trying to hard to make him see that I love him and don't want him to go.

    I just feel pretty desperate right now. :sad:

  2. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    Hi Sophie

    I know this may sound hard to understand, but you don't need to live your life for a single person, the commitment is very admirable but you should be prepared that if the relationship doesn't work out that you will move on with your own life and eventually meet somebody else who you'll love even more.

    Love does strange things, and when we're younger it is easy to think that there is only one person for us, I'm sure you love him with all your heart but love is a two way process.

    You just have to cope with things day by day, and if your relationship doesn't work out then please don't consider suicide as an option.

    Best wishes

  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Sophie. Sorry to hear that you're feeling so down. No one is worth killing yourself over. Not even your boyfriend. I know that it may seem hard now, but if he really wants to end the relationship then maybe it's just not meant to be. Loving someone enough to let them go is very hard. That I know from experience.
  4. Sophie

    Sophie Member

    I know what you're saying, the thing is, I'm scared. I don't know what adultlife is like without him as I was only a child when we met. I don't know how to look after myself and I'm very dependant on him, I can't seem to do anything for or by myself.

    He is the love of my life, and I adore him. We get on well, we know eachother inside out and have so much history together. I don't want to lose him, he isn't just my boyfriend but he is my best friend and soulmate too. I feel like if I lose him, I lose everything I've ever dreamed of.

    I spoke to him about half an hour ago and he has reassured me a bit, but I hate living in limbo. I can't face going to work and am going to go to the doctors tomorrow to get something to calm me.

    Thanks for the replies guys.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Sophie. To truly love someone, you have to know and love yourself. You have to allow yourself to grow and mature into your own person. I don't think it's healthy to be completely dependent on another person. I guess your identity is tied into him, but you have to learn how to stand on your own two feet.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Sophie, Welcome to the forum:welcome:. I don't think any guy is worth killing yourself over, if he is making you that unhappy and depressed you would be better off without him. :hug:
  7. Sophie

    Sophie Member

    That is the thing...he makes me happy, he makes me smile, we get along GREAT! I just don't understand where it is all going wrong.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    maybe he's not ready for commitment again, maybe he feels trapped in a relationship, you need to ask him why he is being this way.only he knows the answer, hope it all works out for you hun :hug:
  9. Sophie

    Sophie Member

    Thanks Lynn, he doesn't know the answers himself, he says he knows there is something wrong but he doesn't know what that is. He is confused and I just want to help him.

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    Once lost; ple just seem to realize how grateful and wonderful people were
    I think that he might feel this as hes thinking that he never knew someone besides you
    his gf might be also a trigger but i wouldnt put all the blame on her
    Truth is i once experienced that but it was in a 2 year relationship; i was 16 and I ended up things by myself when we were both 18 because I wanted to see other things nit because the guy was wrong
    well yeah there was a routine that bugged me but i would have ended it
    the guy went psycho when i left; i was the selfish one but i felt i needed somehow freedom
    Back now I wish i had never left him because hegave me so much and i had never been able to find someone that truthful and grateful to me
    so you might give it time in the sense that he probably knows that NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES OR SAYS YOU LL BE HERE
    people; even wiser ones; tend to abuse from this kind of situation

    I clearly see that love isnt the problem in your relationship, i would rather say that power and research for limots and freedom is

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