I need some help.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Reo, Aug 19, 2006.

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  1. Reo

    Reo Active Member

    Hey im new.
    ive finally come to get some advice. ive never told any1 about this but i really gotta get it out, even if somehow my friends or brothers read this.
    heres my story..
    im 14 and i still wet the bed. im not a "nerd" or geek or anything i guess u could label me as anything. im not really popular nor am i extremely unpopular.. i have friends but sometimes i dont know if half of them i can still call friends. my house is very active, my friends never ring the door bell anymore. my twin brother is telling me im useless and that if i died noone would miss me, i beleive it most of the time. my friends are constintly coming in and out of my room to play on my computer or bug me. its soo hard to make it look like im not a "bed wetter" at age fourteen. i really wish i could stop but i really dont know how. i cant go to sleepovers without freaking out, camps.. now i just skip them, sports? i never really liked em anyway but still. in 7th grade i went through hell in gym cuz i "smelled" i was always nevous and scared every day. in 8th grade i couldnt take it anymore so i asked my mom all the time for slips to skip gym. i thought about just hiding in the bathroom, i started skipping school once a week, then twice. my mom sooner or later asked why i hated gym. i was to embarrassed to tell her. so i just kept silent. after alot of hell my mom got fed up. she said if i didnt go to school she would call in sick for me. from then on i didnt want to go to school at all. the cops said if i didnt start going to school id go to juvi. me and my dad would fight sometimes but never way to serious. then one day it wasnt my dad but my mom, she got really mad and took away my computer grounded me told me i had to go to school or else she was gonna get the cops to take me there. i ran away from home and went to the forest ran for awhile till i was further then id ever been before. it was like a dry wasteland and seemed like there wasnt a house anywhere nearby. i was gonna sleep tehre but i was still wearing my contacts. i was starving and it was a rule if you go into the forest near my house u always go with some1 else. anyway, my moms really forgiving but i still didnt trust her anymore after the fight so i snuck home to get some food and my glasses and contact case. i thought my mom had gone out, turns out she hadnt. she told me she wasnt mad at me anymore and not to run off again. said if i didnt want to go to that school anymore i didnt have too. i left that school and started getting tutored with my college money. it was really expensive and my parents didnt want me to waste all my college money so when i was asked this summer if im going to high school i said yes. my parents are happy, but im not. i know its gonna happen again and i know people are gonna make fun of my for leaving in 8th and ask "why? why? why?" i really dont wanna go through with it. i have this tendency to under preasure say my real opion at the last second. resently ive lost interest in girls so i switched to hentai and gay porn. my bro and friends probibly think im gay now.. i really dont know, i still like girls but i cant say im 100% sure im straight. and now ive lost interest in guys. its so hard to ... "pleasure?" myself anymore. my bro thinks im gay and my friends probibly do too. i dont really like guys anymore, still a bit for girls but ionno.. hell starts in less then a month and im pretty scared. my parents got me to go to a sleep study because of my insane sleeping schedule and the bed wetting. my oridontist said that i have a slide in my jaw that usually people with sleep apnia have. *dont get enough air when asleep* and that i may need surgery to get rid of whatever may be blocking my airway when im sleeping. instead of loosing my braces i get 5 more weeks of them and painful springs.. everytime i goto bed in scared. i play video games all the time and watch movies to get away from all the hell. ive also been loosing weight which is a bad thing sence im already really skinny. on a show i was watching i saw a girl that was a cutter. it seems like cutting might be another get away.. for when that hell starts. although i could be home schooled on my computer.. i dont wanna see my mom cry again from my stupid fears. i cut myself this morning, not enough to make it bleed but it broke the skin. i guess u could call it practicing. can any1 help me?
  2. me1

    me1 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear that you are going though all these problems. I am sure someone here will have some good advice for you. Take care and please dont cut yourself. *hugs*

    grant (TheAM)
  3. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Well, the obvious thing would be to go to your doctor to rule out any medical cause for your bedwetting, especially with your weight loss as well, although it's likely that it may have a psychological cause in which case your doctor could refer you to a counsellor/ psychotherapist. I wouldn't worry too much about your sexual orientation, as your ability to perform (so to speak) can also be affected by stress and this will sort itself out over time I'd imagine. You sound pretty isolated though, so hope you can keep coming here for some support.
  4. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the Forum, Reo.
    First things first: bedwetting is more common than you might think. A lot more common. I agree with Shygirl, best bet is to go to a doctor to rule out any medical causes for it.
    Secondly: with regards to school. School sucks. But if you're going to let the *thought* that people are going to start teasing you again stop you from getting an education, it's you who's going to lose out.
    I mean it. I was bullied for most of high school, subtle mindfucks. But I didn't stop going, and now I've graduated (only in May, I'm not much older than you) and am going to university, while the girl who did most of the bullying failed all but one of her final exams and is stuck with the local community college. Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with community college or anything, but if I had stopped going, that could have been me. And it would have meant letting her win.
    Do *not* let them win. Yes, it might come pretty close to destroying you if you suffer in silence, so get proof and tell someone or else just avoid them as much as you can, but in the end you will still have qualifications, a chance at a good life after high school, rather than just working in a dead end job hating it every day, you know?
    You know what? Sexuality doesn't matter. Forget about that. Adolescence is one of those times where you start questioning everything, and that's just one of those things. Whatever the outcome, you're probably not going to change it. Shygirl, I think, is right here, it could be 'performance anxiety'.
    Losing weight is bad, but the worst thing about the end of your post is the cutting. Please, really, if you can avoid it, do NOT go there. It starts ok, but then it just gets worse and worse and then you end up addicted, no matter how much you swear you won't.
    You don't need to have a cutting addiction to beat at the other end of it as well as everything else...even if you don't think you will be alive that long.
    Sorry if this post sounded a bit weird or forceful or anything...brain is a bit weird lately too.
    Take care, I hope everything gets sorted out for you and you manage to go to high school.

  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    As stated by others, bedwetting is an older age is often caused by some sort of medical condition. You should talk to your doctor about it so things can be ruled out. There are cures for it so don't despair.

    Bullying is getting to be a bigger problem all the time. I am not saying it is any worse now than it used to be, but more attention is focused on it. You need to let someone know about it. There are strategies to stop bullying as wel. Here is a website you can look at if you want. It may be a little young for you, but the info is good and has things for schools as well. www.bullies2buddies.com

    As for sexual orientation. You do not have to make a decision on that issue for a long time. It should not matter either way. You are a person with potential. You have something to offer to this world. Go out and conquer. Education is important. Stay in school and make the most of it. Do your best in whatever path you choose. I am glad you came to our site. We offer many things in way of support. Take care. :hug:
  6. Reo

    Reo Active Member

    thx for the help so far every1 gave me alot to think about.. if the sleep study i took turns out i have sleep apnia surgery is nothing to be less tired and have alot of my problems solved. but cutting eh.. its fun... ionno id rather be a cutter then lonely. so solving my nighttime troubles *bedwetting and lack of sleep/ outragious ^well in my parents point of view^ sleeping times* comes before some scratches plus i just started it i may not like it? o_O

    EDIT : sry read ur post after i posted. bullying is i guess a problem but if its one person eh im twice tehre size physically id be safe :D. once again ill see what teh sleep study says if it doesnt come out ill try and talk my mom into letting me see a doctor about fixing it
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2006
  7. deathdomepart

    deathdomepart Active Member

    as someone else has said bed wetting is not uncommon. infact my brother didnt stop wetting the bed untill he was 16 its just some people grow out of it faster. also if you realy dont want to go back to this school why dont you try to move to a different school altogether i did a few years ago and it was like a fresh start.

    charlotte xxxx
  8. immure

    immure Account Closed

    my boy still wets the bed he is a few yrs younger and we are tryin a few different approuches to stoppin it. but its hard due to how heavy a sleeper he is.
    we did rule out medical reasons. and the dr. offered a pill that stops it from happenin but does not cure it. what ever that totally means
    i said no for know but at ur age and a bit befor ei may relook at that for him if i need. right know it is laundrey every day and mornin showers. my bit on sexuality is never define urself with ur fantisies. keep them in context.
  9. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Just wanted to say, just because you look at gay porn it doesn't make you gay. Loads of people who aren't gay men watch it. Loads of women do, straight and gay. Straight men do (although very few of them ever admit to it!). I'm guessing it's the sex that makes you watch it, and not the gender of the actors, which is why you're getting bored. You've seen the sex before and there's no actual attraction to the actors to keep you interested. If that makes sense! I wouldn't worry about whether you're gay or not. In my opinion sexuality is fluid and no one should worry about fitting themselves into little predefined boxes of behaviour. You are who you are, and you'll figure out who that is one day. But don't sweat it in the mean time.

    Take care :smile:
  10. Reo

    Reo Active Member

    DAMNIT my bro just saw the cuts on my arms... he was looking at my pc then hes like "dude whats wrong with ur arms?" and i was like "what are you talking about?" and he said "why are there cuts all over ur arms?" of course i said i had no idea what he was talking about but he didnt beleive he was like "i know you cut, emoooooo eeemmmmoooooo" then left the room. $%@* wth do i do? now not only is he gonna call me gay but hes gonna do exactly what i thought he would.. think im a gay emo when im neither...
  11. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    And who made him Mr Perfect?? He must be a very sad person to have to constantly pick on you to make himself feel better. Easier said than done, but you could tell him to f*ck off and try not to be bothered by his crap. You need to focus on you and getting yourself better right now... just ignore the shite he throws your way. I'd sooner be you than an insensitive a*se like him any day... Gawd help us, with relatives like that who needs enemies!!
  12. ts3433

    ts3433 Guest

    This is the most effective way to deal with problems--confronting them head-on. From what I gather, you've been evading your issues for some time, which only exacerbates them; however, I don't really blame you, especially since you are an adolescent and you haven't had enough time to develop that sort of judgment. As hard as it is, you'll have to make often difficult decisions to improve what you feel is problematic--if certain vices of yours trouble you and you want to change others' perception of you, you'll have to do what you can to avoid them (it will likely be difficult and take a fair amount of willpower). With that said, be advised that many of those who mock or criticize you for those things simply are putting on an act to hide their own insecurity.
  13. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    we had a very good talk and i think you r well on your way... as stated above.. set a goal and focus on it... the goal is you and what helps you.. the names and teasing will end.. but your successes never will... hang in there.. after talking with you i really believe you can do what you have to to overcome your issues... which is very much in your ability to do....
  14. Neverhere

    Neverhere Guest

    ((((hug)))) School is tough i know that well. but dont let them break you. From your posts i can see you're sensitive and you seem like a really nice person. Your brother sounds slightly immature and i dont mean to offend you by saying that. But cutting isnt an answer it just gets worse and maybe now someone will ask you if you're okay. Sometimes people take other people for granted and think they're okay but unless you tell them they'll continue to treat you this way. We're always here for you honey every one of us has been through similar experiences and can understand to an extent. And about the sexuality issue, recently i myself have been wondering if i'm bi. And i feel confused too but i know that in time i'll figure myself out and until then i'm just going to do my thing. These type of things take time. My bro is gay himself and he always suspected it but never told anyone as a result as a teen he took his frustrations out on the family specially me. (Ripped up a book i was reading wen i was three) But he didn't know how to deal with it so my point is keep talking on here and if you want to pm me anytime you want if you want to talk privately :biggrin: :smile: dont give in, because as a fellow human i care for you x
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