I need some help

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Stormhand, Jun 1, 2010.

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  1. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    ever since I moved in with a couple of friends things have been getting kind bad.
    One of them has been abusing his soon to be fiancee, both mentally and physically.
    He has hit her, and on top of that she is pregnant.
    I talked to his exgf last night (my sister) and I found out he did something as crazy as shove a sword through the bathroom door to try to stab her.
    and i know as soon as I move out it will get way worse with Mary, she is blinded through love and loyalty, and I know he will use that.

    last week we all went out to eat, it was myself and a few friends plus both Mary and Parker, well they got into it, and he ended up slapping her across the face.

    I know as soon as that baby is born it will only get worse, I have seen and heard about too many guys like him..
    What do any of you think I should do?
     
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Your in a tough spot, I dont really know what to advise. Can you talk to mary? try show her that its not a healthy relationship? but on the other hand that could back fire on you...
    what have you thought of doing about it?
     
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Could your sister speak to her? You said your sister use to date the same guy. Perhaps speaking with someone who knows what he is like could help her - give her the strenght to realize she is being abused and the strenght to leave. Maybe just ask her how she feels about the abuse and let her know you see it happening to her - so she cant hide from it by saying he treats her okay. You seem to care about her so offer your friendship and support. Maybe tell her you two could seek a apartment together so she can get away from him. Decide what your willing to do to help and offer your help. Confront her about what is happening and just be there. Thats all the advice I can give you. Unless your willing to get the police involved. I dont know about where you live but here you dont need a complaint from a victim to press charges - if you see someone hurting someone else you can report and press charges for them. I hope something I said helps.
     
  4. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    Thats all I really knew to do if it does happen again, was call the police, I have already told my sis that I will not get physically involved, as tempted as I am to.
    I have a friend who is in law, I am thinking to ask her about the local law on arresting.
     
  5. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    I am just so stressed out right now! I don't know what to do and I am scared.
    Ihave known this guy as a friend for 18 years..its so hard to find what to do.
     
  6. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Im sorry your having such a hard time with this. Just decide what your willing to do and do it. If you dont want to get to involved I think talking to your friend in law inforcment is a good idea. Its a good idea even if you decide to get involved. Its great your trying to help the poor girl. She apparently needs all the help she can get. When you get into a abusive relationship your blinded by your feelings for the person - you make excuses for them - when you love someone you like to think they will change. The problem is you dont realize the truth - they cant love you or they wouldnt treat you like that. Your doing the right thing trying to help.... Its hard to sit by and see someone being abused - I figure youd beat yourself up inside if you didnt try and help.. Good luck!
     
  7. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    Well I have tried, and no matter what I have said, she will not listen to me, just like every other exgf of his.

    So as soon as I get my paper work through for my public housing, I am out of here, and getting my own place again to live by myself.
    I just feel ripped off cause on account of them having a baby I need to move out.
    She is due in December and i am not going to be caught waking up every night to a baby that is not my own, and she has kidna hunted that she prefers me to move..so this whole 4 months has been a big waste of my time.
     
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