I have noticed that ever since I went to college my depression becomes more often. I'm on my 2nd year now and i still don't have any close friends. Well its not my fault all of them are superficial; they only look at the outside well almost everyone I know is. Like most "suicidal" teenagers online I have girl problems, "help I'm lonely" problems, confidence problems and etc. But what bothers me is that whenever i feel depressed and suicidal instead of thinking of my death i think more and more of killing those happy people, those arrogant girls, those people who have no problems. I don't wanna turn out to be a killer but sometimes the rage makes me feel insane and i fear that i could snap any moment. i once snapped during my birthday, i was "celebrating" alone at our house and i wrecked the place. Why do I "channel" my suicidal thoughts to "innocent" people?