I Need Some Help

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ash_wanderer, Jun 18, 2012.

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  1. ash_wanderer

    ash_wanderer Member

    So, I have been battling depression for some time now. I have been taking Wellbutrin for almost a month and my depression is pretty much gone. The medication works really well...and quickly. However, i am still haunted by the images of cutting in my head. I need ideas of what to do. I am happy now, but still want to cut and see blood. I've tried rubber bands and coloring on myself. I have tried painting, which works while I am doing it...but I can't keep painting all day long. The worst of it is that I can't even get away from it in my dreams. I'll cut and then wake up expecting to see a cut and it's not there and I feel like it should be....like I should cut right then to make my dream real. I have been seeing a therapist who doesn't seem to care that I'm a cutter. Even when I had a relapse, she seemed indifferent to the matter. I'm unsure of what to do because I'm afraid of doing it, but afraid of being without it. Suggestions? Thank you.
     
  2. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    (((Ash!))) I'm so glad welbutrin has worked for you!! It's a pretty good stimulate, and works well for me, too!!

    The first step is realizing you DON'T want to do it anymore... then reaching out for help..
    Getting anther therapist, might help imo, if this one does not see to care...

    You could start by making a contract with yourself;

    Side note - Please keep in mind that you have to personalise your contract to make sure you stick to it. There's no point in including "write" if you don't write, or including a psychiatrist/therapist if you don't currently have one...


    You could try;

    *URGE SURFING

    The general gist of urge surfing is where you tell yourself, “If I still want to self harm in 20 minutes, then I can.” In 20 minutes, re-evaluate your position and tell yourself, “If I still want to self harm in 30 minutes, then I can.” Keep doing this. Try to go to sleep – things seem less intense when there is morning sunlight.

    And you could try getting your head clear with these questions asking yourself :

    1) Why do you need to hurt yourself? What has made you want to do this?

    2) Have you been in this situation before? What did you do to deal with it then? How did you feel about it then?

    3) What are the things you have done that have helped you to ease the discomfort? What coping mechanisms have you tried? Can you try any more? What else can you do that won’t hurt you?

    4) Will you regret this decision later on? How will you feel about it tomorrow? Do you still really WANT to do it?

    I’m thinking that there is a pattern in your self-harm. There are similar triggers from similar events, and you usually respond in the same way. Break that pattern. What’s going to happen if this ONE TIME, you don’t resort to self-harm? Try it out, and see. Write about it. Just this one time, give it a go.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 18, 2012
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