So, some of you may have seen my other thread a while ago. Basically, I've been off and on for the last couple of months with a girl that I'd been with for like 8 months total. When we first got got together she had a boyfriend. Normally I wouldn't be okay with this, but she said it was ending due to lack of passion ect. I believed her and tried not to feel guilty for having sex wit her while her boyfriend had no idea. I know that is still shitty, I feel extremely guilty about it, so no need to point it out. Next thing I know, another month goes by. She confesses that she tried to break up with him but decided she's still in love with him, but also loves me. She continues to promise she'll decide, but continues to not decide. Probably 6 months later is when I made my thread here about feeling suicidal over the situation, because it still hadn't been resolved. At this point I was already very much in love with her. We're extremely compatible in so many ways, it was hard to not love her. Well, I'd told her I couldn't take it anymore and ended it shortly after I made that thread. Then, on (I believe) December 14th she contacted me again and told me she was a mess and could barely function with me not in her life. We talked and talked, and eventually all of my feelings for her were reignited again. She promised me that when within a day she would choose (I was pretty sure she'd choose me based on the situation), but again, she didn't. It ruined Christmas for me, and I've been feeling very suicidal again. I am also extremely disappointed with myself for breaking the promise I made to myself, which was to not let that happen again. Just today I brought it up again and she accused me of pressuring her too much, and told me it was annoying to even talk to me sometimes because of it (it's really the first time I'd brought it up in like a week, after she'd already broken her promise). I told her that was bullshit, and she was treating me like shit and that I was sick of it. I told her she's fucked up and I'm not going to do it anymore. She basically responded that I was being childish and I had a lot of growing up to do. My question is this: Is it just me or is it ridiculous and offensive that she would EVER say that? Am I somehow the childish one? Regardless, here I am again, feeling shitty and suicidal.