I need some outside opinions on this.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A1231988, Dec 29, 2010.

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  1. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    So, some of you may have seen my other thread a while ago. Basically, I've been off and on for the last couple of months with a girl that I'd been with for like 8 months total. When we first got got together she had a boyfriend. Normally I wouldn't be okay with this, but she said it was ending due to lack of passion ect. I believed her and tried not to feel guilty for having sex wit her while her boyfriend had no idea. I know that is still shitty, I feel extremely guilty about it, so no need to point it out.

    Next thing I know, another month goes by. She confesses that she tried to break up with him but decided she's still in love with him, but also loves me. She continues to promise she'll decide, but continues to not decide. Probably 6 months later is when I made my thread here about feeling suicidal over the situation, because it still hadn't been resolved. At this point I was already very much in love with her. We're extremely compatible in so many ways, it was hard to not love her.

    Well, I'd told her I couldn't take it anymore and ended it shortly after I made that thread. Then, on (I believe) December 14th she contacted me again and told me she was a mess and could barely function with me not in her life. We talked and talked, and eventually all of my feelings for her were reignited again. She promised me that when within a day she would choose (I was pretty sure she'd choose me based on the situation), but again, she didn't. It ruined Christmas for me, and I've been feeling very suicidal again. I am also extremely disappointed with myself for breaking the promise I made to myself, which was to not let that happen again.

    Just today I brought it up again and she accused me of pressuring her too much, and told me it was annoying to even talk to me sometimes because of it (it's really the first time I'd brought it up in like a week, after she'd already broken her promise). I told her that was bullshit, and she was treating me like shit and that I was sick of it. I told her she's fucked up and I'm not going to do it anymore. She basically responded that I was being childish and I had a lot of growing up to do. My question is this: Is it just me or is it ridiculous and offensive that she would EVER say that? Am I somehow the childish one? Regardless, here I am again, feeling shitty and suicidal.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2010
  2. damage.case

    damage.case Well-Known Member

    Sorry bro, but if she wanted to break up with him and only be with you should would have done it by now.
  3. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    I know that, which is why I ended it and am going to stick with it this time. It's hard to stick with it sometimes, especially when you love somebody very much, though.
  4. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    Its hard but its the correct thing to do and eventually you will move on and forget her.
  5. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Sometimes, true love is letting go, not easy, but its the only we can do.
    Tell you something, i would rather remain in my own company, then ever be in a relationship again, where only one is truely loved.
  6. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    There is nothing childish about wanting to be able to trust the person that you're in a relationship with. In fact it's a bit of a basic requirement and if she can't see that then she's the one who needs to grow up.
    You'll never be able to trust her and this is not a good relationship. The fact that she's trying to make you feel bad for what she's doing is also worrying. Adults take responsibility for their actions, they don't blame someone else.
    Save your love for someone who's worthy of it.
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