I'm trying to get into a counselor, but cannot until wednesday. I called the hotline, they only referred me to more support groups, not open until wednesday. Well, my story; I am 18 years old, living in an apartment with my boyfriend. I found out a month ago that I was more than three months pregnant. I have a 1 in a million chance of this happening, due to predisposed conditions. My boyfriend, 21, wouldn't have wanted to keep the baby. We already discussed that had it happened, we would abort immediately. Well, when I found out I was more than three months along, I had an ultrasound, and it was a living breathing tiny baby. When the doctor held my hand, it reacted, when I cried, it felt my pain. I didn't think I could fall in love with it, but I did, and it was a once in a lifetime oppurtunity, however since my boyfriend would defnitely tell me to abort, I didn't tell him. Three weeks ago, I got in a car accident, I was side swept at 40 miles an hour, by a car much bigger than mine. I broke three ribs, and had some bleeding, like my period but much worse. So I realized that I had probably had a miscarraige, and having been confirmed two days ago, I know that the baby died slowly. Well, after the car wreck I decided it might have been time to tell my boyfriend. I explained to him I've known for one month, the baby was three months, and I lost him. I explained I didnt want to tell him because this baby was a miracle and I didn't want an abortion. I told him I still had the baby in a box [don't consider me creepy, it was very traumatizing to look at] and he asked me why I didnt just flush it. It was a BABY not a goldfish! I wanted to give him a proper burial. So I made all the preperations myself, because he hated it and didnt want anything to do with it, however I thought since we've been together for two years he could help me through it. He took off. He got in his car and drove to another city and told me he needed a "mini vacation". So basically, I'm eighteen years old, find out that I'm pregnant, with a one in a million chance baby, my boyfriend wants me to abort, I get in a crash, lose this living breathing baby that I'm in love with, and my boyfriend takes off, because HE needed to gather his thoughts? So I'm left alone to bury OUR baby? I lost the baby I love, the boy I thought loved me....my world is upside down and backwards and I don't know what to do with it. I called him and he told me he never wants to see me again, EVER, that hes gone somewhere nobody knows his name...I'm alone in a new city in an apartment I can't afford on my own...I dont know what I have left to live for.