I need some social advice

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Atheist Demon, Jan 31, 2009.

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  1. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    Thursday, I went to speak to my advisor, and she asked me some questions that I felt ashamed, she asked me what is a day in the life of Bryant (me) and I told her that I spent most of my time in the house with only my aunt. And I am usually in my room on the computer. And I sometimes go to work or go to my friend Ryan's house. She asked how about socially, and I told her, that I have only one friend. Basicially all my friends used and/or betrayed me. And I am scared and paranoid of ppl (especially teens and young adults). And I want to have some friends and hopefully a girlfriend. But I feel like I am being judged, I hate the fact I am black and fat and I feel that I am very ugly. I need to know how to make and keep friends. Any advice?
     
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Hey Atheist Demon.

    The thing with friendships and things like that, is that it's a two or more, way thing. In other words, all parties involved should want to progress the friendship.
    If it's just you making the effort and wanting a friendship, then it becomes tough.

    Have you thought about joining a club, maybe something that specializes in your interests.
     
  3. Atheist Demon

    Atheist Demon Account Closed

    My mom was going to look for an Asperger's therapy group, but with her living in Arkansas and me in Tulsa, Oklahoma which is a two hour drive, and she is busy and really stressed out from work, she never had time. And the only free program I can attend through my psychological place is ACTionhouse which is mostly elderly ppl and no one 18-23. If you or anyone can tell me where I can find social events for young adults in a phonebook. I know most of you all don't live near Tulsa, but Tulsa's phonebook isn't much different from others I think.
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It sounds so difficult to be treated in this way...but please consider, we are treated the way we allow ppl to treat us...maybe finding someone here to relate to would be good practice for socialization in RL...best of luck and please let us know how you are doing, J
     
  5. allison

    allison Well-Known Member

    I can sort of relate to you, feeling ugly and like no one could ever care about me sometimes. It's a horrible feeling, I know. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can't function. Once I lay around for an entire week doing nothing, except going to school, then coming back home and laying back down on my bed.

    But you know what helped me through all this? My friends' words, and their comfort, and their support. Although you may feel that all your past friends have betrayed you, there's no doubt about it--you need friends to keep you going. Online friends can help a lot, on the serious issues too, but they can't replace the real, physical comforting touch of a friend.

    Try to reach out to people and suppress the hesitation you feel when you remember the friends who've betrayed you. Not all of them are untrustworthy. You just need to find the right friends, and all people need true friends. All you're lacking is self confidence, but once you've gained a friend because you stepped up and struck up a conversation, you'll feel much better about yourself. Just battle your fears for even a few minutes, enough to attract a new possible friend.

    If they treat you like scum, drop them. You don't need to put up with their bad vibes. Eventually you'll find a true friend. Good luck <3
     
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