I need some support....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Stylez, May 2, 2007.

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  1. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    I know this is hard to imagine but suicide is on my mind still even if I'm on here speaking my thoughts and helping people.....For me....if I unforutuantly died I wish this would be my euology:

    I'm so proud of this man. You had some ruff times throughout your past but in the end you lived your life happy with your friends, family and your own soul. You always sypathized more then your own good. One of the things you wanted to do was save all the people in the world....You once said that you wished you felt like shit just so other people can feel happy. But people kept telling you to enjoy the ride and in your death you finally did...Rest in Peace Jonathan Koji also known as Alienation to the people who you help.....See you when I get there.


    I know this may be very hard for you being that alot of you never heard of me...but to my true friends here what would you think if i died and if you could what euology would you say at my funeral....


    I really appreciate this because maybe I need to tear up a little to appreciate what I have here. Thanks again and take care of yourselves
     
  2. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    sorry to put this on like how I'm doing but I need to know this...so please no cheap shots or criticism from people who dont know me....but i really need this done....sarah im really sorry about your loss so i am willing to wait for your reply but grateful and the other people who genuinly care about me...i need to know.....
     
  3. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    alien i would be so crushed if u died. u know i care bout u very much. alien is somethin wrong or r u just feel really bad i know its hard. but if u wanna talk im here and i love u alot.
     
  4. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Nothing i can't handle love.....i dont like talking about my problems unless i cant handle them. I just need to be sure who my true friends are on here....come in my chat room we can talk in there
     
  5. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    true friends 4ever hugs
     
  6. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Hi Jonathan,

    I don't know you personally, but I believe you when you say you are a person who helps others. I think that if you died your friends would be devastated, and so would I. I think you are a caring and selfless person who has given a lot to other people and still has a lot more to give.

    I believe as well that you are precious in the eyes of God, so precious that Christ spilled His blood for you. He wants to have a relationship and friendship with you. If you put your faith in Him He will help you fight against the feelings of suicide and He will help you help others even more. And when your death comes, He will indeed give you a free ride to Heaven where your dedication and courage will be recognized, and where you will never feel sadness or loneliness again.

    I think that the eulogy you chose would be very fitting and I am sure it would drive the point home how much good you did and make people appreciate you more, especially those who haven't heard of you. But what could be better than hearing Christ's voice say 'welcome thou good and faithful servant' as you enter Heaven?

    I'm sorry if this sounded weird or uncomfortable, I hope things go well for you and if you want to talk you can always email me (holyspiritrocks@hotmail.com) or pm me.

    God bless you and take care.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
     
  7. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Wow man....


    I understand everybody is a servant of God and by your words I truley feel special. It is very true I said those things in my Support group so it never was a line of shit. My friend is very bad with OCD and it breaks my heart because he's just so smart. People keep telling me that when I said "I wished I felt like shit so other people could feel better" they thought that didn't make any sense. It was a sign of Mania they would say. However that I'm not very religious, I still feel God or Jesus or Allah or what have you, in their moments of life lived that exact meaning of feeling the wrath of sins so others can feel the joys of happiness. Am I right about that? I also recall how Jesus says that God is in each of us. That right there makes me glad I never teased or belittled anyone in my tuffest times where I would get beaten emotionally and mentally everyday in HS. I understood how they felt and in a way being that I experienced it I appreciate life that much more. I always thought by feeling this good I would not make it past the age of 30. Something of the joys of life always amazed me and I thought my body did not have the potential to fulfill these joys with something productive enough.

    I wrote this topic because in the end if I live at 30 I would feel satisfied with my life and how I lived it. I would have no regrets. Helping people here fulfills my dream of helping everybody in the world. It sounds grandiose to almost sound insane, but if I can save one person here I feel I literally saved their world and to me that one person is as important as any individual in this world.

    I need to know that there is life past 30. I'm 22 now. I lived a great life. I contemplated suicide since I was 11 and I've been enjoying the blessing of a higher power for just over two weeks. I feel I came full circle. I need to know life goes on. I need to know that other peoples lives depend on me. Not in words but in enough words for me to see the light in a way. Just show me I can live this life I'm living and not become somebody I never wanted to be.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2007
  8. leptoon

    leptoon Well-Known Member

    I would hate it if you died. Idk what else to say. I am in a kind of catatonic emotional state right now... idk. Just please stay well and try not to die.
     
  9. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Hi Alienation. There is no reason to do anything dumb to yourself. I am sure whatever is bothering U we can help U. U also sound too young to not live life to your full potential. Let us talk with U and send me a message if U want at rayden291 at yahoo dot com
     
  10. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your reply bro....but discussing suicidal thoughts should never be considered "dumb" due to a mental illness. Also by your logic wouldnt everybody be too young to live life to their full potential?

    Appreciate your concern though man....peace
     
  11. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    i dont know what to say but alien id be so hurt if somethin happened
     
  12. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    I wont do anything god willing love....
     
  13. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Hi Jonathan,

    There definitely IS a life past 30, and you definitely CAN do many great things to help other people. Your life here is not a waste of time, and like everyone else you were created in God's likeness and image. He planned out your life before the day you were born, and you are very special to Him. He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for you, that is how much God loves you.

    I would encourage you to put your trust and faith in Jesus Christ and ask Him to come into your heart if you haven't done so already. Tell Him that you accept and choose Him over sin, that you are grateful for what He did for you on the cross, that you want to live for Him and serve Him. Tell Him you accept Him as your Lord and Saviour, tell Him however you want to, using whatever words you want to. He definitely gives a purposeful and meaningful life to those who choose to believe in Him and follow Him, although that does not mean it will be without pain or hurt.

    You are looking for the light, and that is so great. That light is Jesus. He wants you to come to Him, and His arms are open. He promises to never leave you or abandon you, and that when your life here on earth does end you will get to spend a joyful eternity with Him in Heaven. He can and will work through you to bring joy and hope to others.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
     
  14. Cestmoi

    Cestmoi Well-Known Member

    Predeterminism in christianity? Whatever happened to free will?
     
  15. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

  16. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the support guys...I really needed it....
     
  17. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Anytime, Jonathan. We're always here if you want to talk.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
     
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