I need some support...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by I need help, Oct 1, 2009.

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  1. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    Hey everyone....I'm new on here...
    I'm a 22 year old girl....
    I feel like my life is falling apart...I'm supposed to start going to the university...but I'm not sure that's gonna happen..cause I'm too depressed to really look into stuff in regards to choosing classes and stuff..I don't have a job,cause I can't deal with new situations...bosses...or anything pretty much...I feel like I can't do it..can't work!!!It sounds so stupid to "normal" people...they don't understand me...

    My boyfriend and I broke up 6 days ago..I broke up with him cause he was really cold,didn't give me the attention I needed (my friends pushed me to do it!).., a few hours after I broke up with him I wanted to get back together..I even begged him!..I've been begging ever since...but he says he's not sure...(and I know pressing him into getting back togeher isn't gonna make him want to do it..but i love him so much!!)
    for a long time i've been feeling like he's the only reason I have to live..cause i hate my life...i dont even think I have a life....I've been thinking about death a lot lately..even though I know I'm too scared to actually do it..kill myself...but I want to be dead.not have to deal with not having anything to live for...

    I have an eating disorder..i havent been diagnozed..but i'm obssesed with watching what i eat...not wanting to get fat...I'm really thin...not deadly thin..but really thin..I know that..but i still can't give up on my obssesion!..a week ago ,the day before my bf and I broke up I had a binge attack and right after I started crying cause I felt like i'll get so fat from eatting that much!!...

    When i was younger I even delt with OCD..still do..(havent been diagnozed with that either..but my friend has..and i've dealth with some ot the same things she has...)

    I just feel like I have so many problems and no way to deal with them..Im to scared to go see a psychologist..

    Sorry for writing so much and beening so unclear in my writing!
    if you read everything and decide to try to help- I really do thank you so much!!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you are going through all this. I think you need to talk with your school councillors let them know your difficulties. The most important thing to do is to see your doctor get diagnosed professionally so you know what it is you are dealing with. ONly a professional can do that and then prescribe what is necessary to stop the anxiety the depression. With a professional diagnosis you can then take this to the university councillors and get the support you will need to suceed in school You will be given extra time if needed to do assignments tests etc. Be good to yourself get diagnosed professionally Iam sure some universities will do that for you right at the school as well. There is help okay so reach out and get it so you are not so overwhelmed with the new year. take care
  3. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    thank you, violet, for your sincere reply!
    I really do need to go get checked up..it can only help me...I just need to get the courage to do that!
  4. istvan

    istvan Member

    It's my first time trying to help someone here. In fact, I don't think I'm going to be able to help at all.

    I understand the "new situations" part. I am like that as well. When I got my actual job, I was in panic. It was like " Omg, new bosses, new colleagues, new environment, what am I gonna do in the first day, where should I sit when having lunch, will people like me, what are they gonna think of me ? " But believe me, it's only paranoia. Once you get through the first days, it's so much easier and you'll even laugh about the fact you were so scared.

    And come on, we're talking about university here. It's a big step in your life, and crucial for your future. If, where you live, the academic life is similar to my country, it's going to be amazing. At least from what I'm told. You'll meet new people, different people... I don't know how much you love your boyfriend, but you have to think you need a "backup plan", if he eventually won't get back to you.

    As for the eating part... well, uhm, have you ever been fat ? Do you usually gain a lot of weight when you eat a lot ? Because, some people, like me, are very unlikely to get fat. But try and see a nutritionist. I've known a lot girls that are like that, maybe not totally obsessed, but they usually asked me 5 times per day " Am I getting fat ? What do you think of me ? Am I elegant ? " You're not the only one.

    My god, I'm so pathetic when trying to help someone l0l. But maybe it's because I don't know more about you, or some important details. Oh well, I tried. ;$
  5. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    I know education is really important...that's the reason why I can't just give up!
    In regards to food,umm I used to be fat(ter)...my friends say I've never been actually fat...i wasnt thin back that either...In my opinion i was..at least curvy...but i used to binge a lot....cause even then I was obssesed...5 years ago...

    I love my boyfriend..(even though he isnt my boyfriend now.. :( ) it just hurts so bad!!! I can't believe he's willing to give up on us! he says he loves me too!

    thank you for trying to help me! kind words always help...
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hold on if he loves you as he says he does he will come back give him room to think abit and be his friend. Oh yes i know it takes courage but wants it is done getting evaluated you will get all the support and help needed to succeed so go for it okay
  7. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    I know I need to give him time..time to miss me..but I'm afraid he'll think its okay to be without me in the end,plus I miss him..every minute.I also fear he he might think i've gotten over him...cause he says he hurt me a lot and he doesnt want to hurt me...and that might be okay in his opinion (that- me getting over him)he's an emotional guy..so when he says he doesnt want to hurt me anymore..I know its true.... I dont want to lose him!!
    I'd love to be able to sleep for like a week..then i wouldnt be ablt to call him and he will miss me!...who knows if even that would help!!

    about the psychologist...the first step is always the hardest...
  8. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    I really dont know what to do..he doesnt seem to want to be with me..and I feel like I dont want to live without him...It feels like my heart is broken into a million peices!! I dont want to have to deal with it!! I cant!! I even tried to bribe him with sex..and that isnt working ...I WANT HIM OR I WANT TO DIE!!! It makes me feel like I'm psychotic!! I feel terrible!!!
    How can I deal with it???
  9. Zoe

    Zoe Well-Known Member

    I think it'd be a good idea to try to take a bit of time out just for you, to relax a little.

    When things are very stressful as they are for you right now, the mind looks for an escape, a way to slow everything down which can manifest in thoughts of suicide.

    If you can, try to slow things down in your mind - put worries to one side, even if it's for 10 minutes.

    Your boyfriend wasn't supporting you and your friends think he's no good for you.

    So you most definitely can live without him but the stress of everything makes you feel like you can't. Put him to one side for now.

    Also, not eating amps up stress and makes everything seem crazier, I know this well myself.

    Be kind to yourself sweetie, you've had a lot to deal with, just take things one step at a time for now. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 2, 2009
  10. TheDayThatNeverComes

    TheDayThatNeverComes Active Member

    seems to me that the source of your stress and difficulty in making decision, just taking life on, is the breakup.

    look..if you would be succesful bribing him with sex, then what on earth would you win?this shows you are pretty lost atm.. I wonder how did he reply to that offer. looks to me like he doesn't really care about you,as he can see what's happening but doesn't bother to talk to you about it, comfort you in any way, like speaking his freakin mind.

    think about that.
  11. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    :hug: Please go see a doctor. I have learned I cannot make another person love me. It hurts to lose someone and only time can heal that hurt.
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are only 22 please hang in and know this guy obviously isn't the one or he would still be around. time to trade up to a better one. One that cares when you are well and when you are not so well. Take time for you now go out buy yourself something nice get your hair done. Time for you to pamper yourself okay know there are other guys yes the pain is there but look at what you are loosing someone who doesn't give a dam abt how you are feeling.. You deserve better for you concentrate on your schooling right now get help you need to succeed in life and find that perfect guy with all your interest and who will treat you likeyou deserve to be treated please you are worth so much more believe in yourself.
  13. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the comments you guys!!
    umm..we are talking..and we wanted to give it an other try (or was it just me???)..but we're not a couple....and he keeps reminding me of that..and keeps saying we need to decide what to do (which to me sounds like he has to!!..) I'm so scared he's gonna say its not working...Everytime I'm being "cute' he tells me to stop acting that way....cause we're not b and gf...(not seing anyone else though..)...he really wants to make up his mind..and Im so scared..to me love is the number 1 thing in life...and Im so afraid I'm gonna totally lose it if he decides against being together...I'm so scared....when we're together he still says he's scared and cant forget about the past (we fought a lot)....but I love him so much that I dont care about it!!!..why can't he do that as well..I know he is dealing with issues of his own..he's an emotinal guy,but that's not a good enough of excuse...I woudnt be ablt to contunue talking to him...I'll have to delete him from every online messenger or site I have...so it wouldnt hurt to see him..contunuing life as if I never mattered....and that would hurt..how would I even be able to do that...he was my best friend for almost 2 years!!

    yesterday ws horrible..I was feeling so numb...didnt wanna talk to anyone..untill I saw him in the evening...we had fun....and today he's being all cold and stuff again.....he does care about me..he says he still loves me...not as much as I say it though....

    My friends are trying to push me to go see a psychologist..but im so scared of talking to my parents about it.....and going is really hard for me as well...
    I have the coping skills of a 13 year old..if not younger...I dont understand how it is that I still have friends...I can't help them with their problems..and I dont answer the phone all the time....and I never listen to what they say cause i cant deal with their opinions of how I should act..I'm scared I'll be all alone...either by choice..cause I wouldnt wanna see anyone ..or cause they'll give up on me......

    And I do need to take care of my appearance..My hairs a mess i need new clothes..I need to go get my picture taken for the student i.d card..dont wanna do that.. I look like shit..and I just dont feel like doing it..even though i have to!!

    I'm such a mess!! I dont wanna do anything but be with this guy..its just horrible...

    what should I do to get my life back??? aspecially cause I cant deal with anything..I feel like i hit a dead end!....

    sorry for writing so much!!
    thanks everyone ,again, and again!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 6, 2009
  14. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    I wanted to say that when we're together we have a lot of fun!...and we do act like a couple in my opinion..and then in the morning...he gets cold again.....its not about sex..we've done it once since we broke up....(not seeing anyone else..so its not like were in a weird sex relationship now...)
    I feel like I'm pressuring him..and that's not gonna help...but i feel so helpless...
  15. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    i can tell you i am exactly where you are with your boyfriend. we broke up in july because he didn't understand my depression (we were together almost two years, you'd think he would have understood by then) and now..i miss him so much even though i left him. he has a new gf now..of a month..who he loves. my friend wants to kill him for the way he controlled me.

    i also will be going to college/university next year. except i am 17 and a senior in highschool. i have to start applying soon but i'm just so depressed and i'm really afraid i'm going to get rejected.

    i don't have an eating disorder but i have other illnesses to deal with.

    if you ever need anything, don't be afraid to contact me.

  16. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    Hey Ronnie!
    are you still in touch with your ex bf? how is it that you know his situation with this new gf?
    if he controlled you maybe you are better off without him! ..a little over 2 years ago i went out with this guy that in my opinion didnt even care for me,but that's besides the point...i'd never go out with my friends..cause i thought ,who knows..he might want to meet me today..most days that didnt happen..and I let him control my life!...that might not be the way you mean control...but any sort of control is never a good thing...

    I think ,if you think something is difficult,you should take a friend,or a familly member and ask then to do it with you,even if all you need to do is pick up the phone,or send a letter...that always motivates me!

    I would love to listen and try to help as best as I can as well!! :)
  17. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    well, my ex bf is in one of my classes this year. but at the moment i am on medical leave because i'm starting a program to help me with depression and any other illnesses i have. it starts tomorrow..i'm nervous.

    but he pretty much controlled what i did, the clothes i wore, what i ate. i had to be with him 24/7 and at first that was fine. i lost all my friends because of him. i got back in touch with a friend i had before him and we are very close now.

    but now i have to wonder..his new gf is his little sisters best friend (best he can get) she has tons of friends. even GUY FRIENDS!! idk..that makes me mad.

    we don't talk. i'm surprised he hasn't texted me where i have been. i haven't been in school since the 25 of september. i had to wait a few weeks for an opening at the program. and my psych said i'm not in the right state of mind to be at school..or work. so i may lose my job because of this :(
  18. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    i hope you do well on your program!!, don't be nervous! it's going to help you,and even if you are nervous never forget how much it can help you,and try to stay strong!!

    in regards to your ex bf, It sounds like he wasnt good for you,so you should be with someone better..now that you are "free" you can find someone who'd treat you right,a nice guy! I like nice guys!! I really used to be into bad boys..I'm glad I don't want them anymore..bad boys are horrible!!!

    about your job,have you asked them for some time off?...maybe you should aske them to come back to work in a little while..just telling them you have some medical thing you need to do..not really share too much if you dont want to!...just say its a medical thing...they might understand..but i dont have too much experience with jobs..so i dont really know...just a thought...
  19. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    i told work that i'll be gone for two weeks. but it's going to be longer. i just learned that if you don't work for a month it kicks you out of the system. not sure if you live in the us or not but i work at cvs.

    not sure if you can get back into the system? i'm sure you can..
  20. I need help

    I need help Well-Known Member

    Umm..nope i'm not from the u.s so i have no idea what that is..lol :p

    So how long are you supposed to be on that program?..even if you're not gonna be able ot get that job back..I'm sure there are lots of other places you can work at!!

    and.. i'm lost..did you mean i can get a job?....:p
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