I don't post here very often, but I remembered this site from the last time things got very dark for me, and I don't know where else to turn to try and be heard. I'm having a really rough time right now. I haven't been doing well in general but things are really overwhelming me today. That knot in my stomach, the physical pain that comes along with the depression, whatever you call it... it got so intense today that I had trouble breathing. I can't remember that ever happening before. There aren't very many people I can talk to, and those I can open up to have already heard this from me over and over again. I just want to scream out as loud as I can, and tell someone I'm hurting. I'm not suicidal, but I haven't been able to get the idea of it out of my head all day. I know I would never go through with it, I would be much too scared to even try. So I really don't want to tell anyone around me that I'm thinking about it so much because they'll worry, and I don't want anybody getting upset about something I know isn't really going to happen. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to someone, but when I do I don't know what to say or ask for. How do I ask a person to listen to me when I don't really have anything to say? Maybe the people here will understand. No one else seems to.