Hi everybody. I feel very strange posting in this forum, I feel weird for even making an account, but I need help. I am depressed, I'm bi-polar, and I'm recovering from an eating disorder, and I am a male. My issues stem from my childhood, where I had no friends, no compassion from the opposite sex, and I would always get in trouble as a child so my parents were always mad and yelling at me. As I grew up, I found friendship, and I found a girlfriend, I found a life. However, my friends are all cruel to me, they always make fun of me and even though they like me, they're never very kind to me. They say they're only joking, but I know they're enjoying the harassment. The girl I fell in love with is a beautiful girl who I care about more than anything, and she broke up with me. I've had strong feelings for her since I was barely 14, I am now 18. Our relationship was always on and off because I am insecure, jealous, angry, and a general hassle to be around. She recently ended it for good because I make her unhappy with my issues and my actions. I never intended to hurt her, I only wanted to love her, and now she's gone, and wants nothing to do with me, leaving me alone in this mad world, and I do not want to be here any longer. I have tried to kill myself in the past, (pills, self mutilation, excessive violence towards myself) and I know it's wrong, but I'm just not happy. I've never been "happy" because whenever a happy moment comes along, my emotions will always mess it up and I'll be lonely again. I have a lot more I could rant about but I don't want to take up the bandwidth with my issues. I could really use some help from some people other than my doctors. Thank you. -MDB.