I need someone to talk too.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by MDB, Aug 8, 2010.

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  1. MDB

    MDB New Member

    Hi everybody. I feel very strange posting in this forum, I feel weird for even making an account, but I need help.
    I am depressed, I'm bi-polar, and I'm recovering from an eating disorder, and I am a male.
    My issues stem from my childhood, where I had no friends, no compassion from the opposite sex, and I would always get in trouble as a child so my parents were always mad and yelling at me. As I grew up, I found friendship, and I found a girlfriend, I found a life. However, my friends are all cruel to me, they always make fun of me and even though they like me, they're never very kind to me. They say they're only joking, but I know they're enjoying the harassment. The girl I fell in love with is a beautiful girl who I care about more than anything, and she broke up with me. I've had strong feelings for her since I was barely 14, I am now 18. Our relationship was always on and off because I am insecure, jealous, angry, and a general hassle to be around. She recently ended it for good because I make her unhappy with my issues and my actions. I never intended to hurt her, I only wanted to love her, and now she's gone, and wants nothing to do with me, leaving me alone in this mad world, and I do not want to be here any longer. I have tried to kill myself in the past, (pills, self mutilation, excessive violence towards myself) and I know it's wrong, but I'm just not happy. I've never been "happy" because whenever a happy moment comes along, my emotions will always mess it up and I'll be lonely again. I have a lot more I could rant about but I don't want to take up the bandwidth with my issues. I could really use some help from some people other than my doctors. Thank you.

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    just want to say hi hope you keep talking here getting to know others and making friends here as well lot of caring people here.
  3. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    Hey and welcome to the forums. I don't think anyone would mind if you use more bandwidth to continue talking about this. We are here to listen and to help.
    I am glad you found us. This site has been very helpful for me, that's for sure.
    I am sorry to hear you are hurting and lost the girl you love so much.
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I used to go through this. Bipolar hurts for sure. I no longer suffer from it, hallelujah! I agree it feels as though something inside you is trying to sabatoge any hope for happiness, love, and life! I always felt as if I were demon possessed because it was a constant war for control over everything. Hang in there, there is hope. Blessings..
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2010
  5. clairedelune

    clairedelune Wanderer

    Hi and welcome to SF. Don't worry, you are never alone with what you feel and think. A lot of other people suffer more than you do. It's also nice that you had a girlfriend but I'm really sorry for the break-up. I guess you just have to accept that some things are temporary and there's always a good thing in moving on. Go on and live another life full of hope and you'll see your prize in the end. Wishing you all the best.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! I'm sure you will make friends here easy enough.. This is a very supportive site.. Keep posting so more people see you on here..Don't worry if things start out slow..
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