why is it even worth it to try to go on? my ex boyfriend is insane and threatens to kill me if i don't take him back, and i can't tell him to fuck off because he has naked pictures of me from a hell of a long time ago, even though i never sent any to him. i can't go to the police because it would mean i'd have to involve my parents, and they'd never forgive me or treat me like a fucking human anymore. they already misunderstand everything i try to tell them, so it's either i get back with him, let him send those pictures to everyone i know and love, or have my parents ruin my life. i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here. no matter what i do, i'm fucked. and on top of that, he's said that i even develop any type of crush on anyone else, he'd "do everything he can to kill them." so even if i do get him away, if he finds out that i like anyone at all, i might be putting other people in danger. all i am is a disgusting fuck-up that can never do anything right. it disgusts me especially because i'm ftm transgender, which only makes me hate myself and life in general even more. and my parents would never accept that about me either, so i'm extremely closeted and secretive about it. only 4 people know that i am, and all but 1 are internet friends. the one in real life was a guy i was dating a while back, i got to the point where i trusted him completely so i told him and he broke up with me, ending the relationship with calling me a "fucking *****" and "confused bitch." he blamed the entire problems of our relationship that we'd ever had on me because i told him that i'm a guy on the inside. he asked me to change my mind, but i can't just randomly decide that i'm a girl. i just don't want to be here anymore, so what's the point of staying? i'm not even in the right body. i don't want to hurt anyone i love and care about, i just can't do this anymore. i'm completely hopeless.