I am male. I have a daughter, 5 months and a son 2 years old, i am almost 24 but recently i am involved in some legal trouble. I was drugged and i made advances towards my roomate without my knowledge. My wife has left me and won't let me see my children. I have been abused, neglected and bullied in my younger years and all that has been over, even though i have ptsd i have pulled through. I have basically half assed suicide attempts in the past hoping they would work knowing well they wouldn't for the sake of my family. but i feel now i have no guilt. these past 5 months raising my new daughter were the best, as torturous as she was i have never been happier. It's hard to explain but people say it always gets better and it's just the biggest load i have ever heard. Even as happy as i was i always thought it would be better if i was not here, as if i were not meant to be here, born in the wrong time, what have you. My daughters name is clementine, i've never seen anything as beautiful. I've made my mind up. My closure is written. I never want anyone to have these feelings, this emptiness but in a few minutes...the one thing i have wanted is children and now they're gone. Not because they're taken away but because of marital issues. these are ones that cannot be solved and i refuse to be the guy they see every other weekend.