I need someone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lestat, Oct 12, 2007.

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  1. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Ive been in 2 big relationships and never not being about 14. My first relationship lasted 5 years amd ,y 2nd 1 and a half. My 2nd is not fully over but i am unable to see her and i think with everything going on we will split. she is about to have my child in the next 6 weeks and i am finding that very hard to deal with as I may not be able to be there.

    I am a family man and love family.

    Sine the whole situation has started with me i have been left on my own. I cant contact my partner and I have been trying to commit suicide the last 2 days but cant bring myself too.

    If i knew people would not hurt when i did it i would do it now. But i know tehy will.

    All i know is i need someone to love. I need someone by my side and without it i cant be strong. I know none of you can help but I feel like screaming all the time because I need someone.... i need my partner now but cant have her....

    I dont wish to go through what has happened to me as I personally think it is sick and find it hard to talk about.
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I think your selfish getting her pregnant then leaving. good on u
  3. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    lol. It is not like that at all. I never left her... she never left me. I am trying all i can to get back with her.

    She is on my bail that i can not see or talk to her.

    I would never do that, get someone pregnant and leave... not me
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    thats good then
    though i am sorry for the child
  5. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    So am i. It breaks my heart. and no matter what happens I will try my hardest to see it. I am a member of Fathers-4-Justice and will not give up.
  6. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

    If neither of you left each other how did this whole split up happen? Is she underage?
  7. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    When do you go to trial? You should be able to see her after that right? Do you have a good lawyer. A good lawyer should be able to get you out of this.
  8. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Hi Conrad. I am sure your problems can be solved if U take the time and let us also talk with U on how to go about it. Suicide is NOT the answer ever. Talk with us anytime U wish to share your thoughts more. Have you considered seeing a professional about this quandry U are in?
  9. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member


    No she is not underage :p It is because the police see her as a potential witness.

    I do haveagood solicitor but I have been good I have a good chance of winning but there isa chance i wont. There is a big problem with this case, and there is nothing I can do about it.

    If i see my girlfriend I could get locked up for breaking bail... even when she is having my baby.
  10. Chris 2

    Chris 2 Guest

    oh shutup! Shutup! you have a girlfriend
  11. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    Conrad, it seems you morsel-feed the forum members with bits and pieces... I still don't know what your issue is with whom. Can you fill in with the big picture?

    Is she splitting up with you? What has happened between you both, that you are now forbidden to see her? Have you received a restraining order? Was there physical violence involved? Where does your membership with 'fathers-4-justice' come into play?

    I sympathise with your emotion being probably in turmoil, but it would be really helpful to fill in those gaps, as they seem to be the cause of you contemplating suicide.
  12. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Sorry man. I dont mean it that way.

    I do have one but cant see her... Dont you see why that is so sad? SHe is going to be having my baby soon an I cant even be there for the birth.... and after that I will not be able to see my child.

    I am not saying your situation is not bad...
  13. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Ok. I will try.

    It is a hard thing to write about... This is why I don't like too.talk about it. But please understand that it is not true but is ruining my life.

    I am a member of Fathers-4-Justice because I i wsh to see my children from another relationship. There is no reason I can not see them apart from that my ex has a new family now and just wishes me to be no part of it. I have a Son who is nearly 2, and daughter who is nearly 4. I see my daughter more then my Son (Not sure why).

    I now live with my new partner who is expecting our first child in around 6 weeks (We think sooner with stress now). She has a daughter who is 4 from another relationship. The daughter sees her dad all she wants.

    On Thursday I had police arrest me for "Interfering with a child" or around those lines. So in other words i am meant to have done something sexual with a child. The child is my partners daughter from another relationship.

    The child was staying at her dads while these were made and the dads mother took her into the police station.

    In my interview they told me what was said and it was shocking the words and detail's that came out of the child's mouth... very shocking. Things were said a 4yr old should not even understand.

    Since this I have had bail conditions. I have not been charged yet but i still have them.

    One is I can have no contact with any of my children in anyway. The other is I cant go to my home town. and I can not see or talk to my partner in ANY way, even through a 3ed party.

    I know she does not believe this but it is very hard for her to pick sides as one is her daughter and one is the person she loves.

    It is a very hard time... But one main thing in this is it is all meant to have happened in the child's bed.

    I have slept in the child's bed when she has been at her dads and me and my girlfriend have a fight or something. I also suffer from night terrors which make me walk about the house and do strange things... but with this comes wet dreams which I can get. Normaly if i have one i do not really wake up. I just clean up and get back to bed and not really remember it.

    My partner and docs can back me up on this.

    of course any internal exam will show up nothing. But dna wise... maybe.
  14. Trip the Dark fantastic

    Trip the Dark fantastic Well-Known Member

    Your honesty is much apprechiated - especially as
    Understand, that this is very likely a significant factor of you feeling suicidal.

    Commenting on your specific case: I'm sorry but, as you are currently subject of a legal investigation this is one subject on which I can't offer any advice. Legal advice is regulated by law, and I'm not qualified to offer that kind of support. Any comment could be interpreted as being judgemental one way or another.

    Clearly, you need some tools to help you managing your suicidal thoughts. I advice you to contact your GP who is able to refer you to a 1 to 1 or a support group. Make no mistake, professional help is right now probably the best approach.

  15. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    be strong conrad for your child.
  16. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Hi Conrad. It seems to me that U should perhaps take a lawyer's advise on what to do in this situation. It's very unpleasant and no doubt U are feeling depressed. However suicide is definitely not the answer to your problems. The court will also acquit U if U are innocent. If U are not innocent then we sometimes have to buck up and pay for the consequences of our actions. However life does go on either way and relationships can be mended with understanding.
  17. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member


    Thanks for the comments.

    As you see it is a very hard thing to talk about and my girlfriend is finding it very hard.

    I just dont knowwhat to do... i feel good sometimes now, i guess i am getting used to everything... but today i just turned again and right now i feel very much like suicide again. i know i wont but my whole head is screwed up.

    I keep thinking that my girlfriend will leave me and find someone else. I cant stand the thought of her with someone....

    I think i am really going crazy because i keep forgetting about the case and just thinking about my girlfriend... which is (When i can sort of talk to her) making her think i am guilty because i cant think straight... which is not what i need... and because of this i get worse.

    I just need to know she will be here for me... that i think is all i need.... oh and a good jury
  18. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    mate, keep up with doing things the legal way first, you say you aren't allowed contact but does this mean you can't write to her?
    find that out coz any contact maybe enough for the moment.
  19. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    I cant contact her in anyway. even through a friend

    Its stupid i know... but they say i could intimidate her.... SHe is my damn girlfriend... not just a normal person.

    This type of thing will ruin my relationship... and for what?

    It is so fucking unfair.

    Today is another bad day for me... yesterday was great but i feel like shit again
  20. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    i think in a way i am pushing her away because of how crazy i get when i am not around her. i keep thinking she is going to cheat on me as soon as the baby is born.
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