I need something

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lost2011, Aug 2, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. lost2011

    lost2011 New Member

    i am tired. i am tired of fighting this depression, i'm tired of doing this life alone, i'm tired of struggling, losing, and starting over and over and over. i do what i am supposed to, as much as i can. i screw up, just like every one else, but i always catch the grief. i raise my children, as i am supposed to, but no one helps me, i work all day, as i am supposed to, but i don't make enough money to buy food, home, car, utilities, etc., i am at my wits end. i don't even have the energy to get up. my mind is jumbled, its hard to even make complete thoughts, i can't sleep, i don't eat, i can't focus, i can't drive, i can't live and i don't feel that i need to anymore. i pray for mercy, for my children, my family, and myself, i pray for relief, i pray to be washed of my sins, i pray for peace, for help, for this to STOP, but it just keeps coming. someone help me please.
     
  2. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member

    Lost,

    Your life is difficult. You are making a huge difference.

    I remember one of the funniest comedy sketches I ever heard. It was Eddie Murphy remembering back to his child hood. He said something along the lines of "I didn't know we were poor, I just thought my Mom was cheap".

    Kids don't know what we know, and once they learn, they appreciate our sacrifices all the more.

    Keep fighting. Keep being tired. Keep struggling.

    But also, smell a rose. Inhale a great cup of coffee. Watch a movie you love.

    Plant a seed - old school - in a little milk carton. Watch it grow - nurture it - water it - feed it. It is symbolic of the bigger picture of what you are doing on the grand scale.

    We love you.
     
  3. D-503

    D-503 Member

    I'm currently working through some exercises on depression my doctor gave me. I think you may find some of them really useful:

    Take some time to remember what activities made you really happy. Do them. Rediscover your passions for them. Realise that doing this is just as important (in fact more important) than all the chores and work that needs doing.

    Make a list of all the good things about yourself. Be completely egotistical and don't even bother thinking about bad things, just put good things.

    Make a to do list every day. Start with easier tasks and work up to the difficult ones. For the toughest ones, break them down into sections. Tick them off as you go, and then, at the end of the day, you can look back and see how much you achieved. Include activities which make you happy, mark these with a P and mark tasks where you achieve something with an A. Include some exercise if possible. Don't over-aim, put in a realistic amount of activities.


    I hope some of these help! If you just want to vent, we're always here to listen.
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Lost and welcome...one thing comes to mind from your post, that you pray re your sins...depression is a disease, a treatable, but pervasive disease...if you were a diabetic, would you feel you have failed or sinned? There is such a horrible stigma attached to mental concerns that it keeps us from getting the help we need and feeling the appropriate self-compassion...considering how you are feeling, you sound remarkable to be doing all you are doing...please seek the care you and your children deserve and know how very special you are for accomplishing all you have...J
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.