I Need Support

[Crazy Diamond]

Im totally new to this kind of thing. Iv been depressed for quite a while now and I have thought about suicide but iv always found ways to quell those feelings. I mean when i was 7 i was repeatedly sexually abused by my brother but i found ways to get over that but over this past year I'v had things happen to me which I cant control how i feel afterwards. I mean in easter me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up and within weeks she got with someone else, that shook me up really bad because she was always my rock, my counsel and support, but after we broke up I think she got tired of all those things. Anyway after that I started to go off the rails a bit. Im up in university now and I really cant stand it. Not long after we broke up i was arrested for assault and given a police caution.

When i went home for the summer i met this girl and we got on really well, she came round my house one night and things seemed great but within a couple of days I was told by someone else at work that she was back together with her fiance and were getting married again, it hit me quite badly but I think i was ok about it really, but about a month after her wedding i heard something at work about her having a miscarriage. I text her to find out what was happening and she told me that it was my baby and she had an abortion cuz she couldnt do that to her husband. Strangely enough that rocked me big time. I mean iv never been a lover of babies or anything but I just couldnt believe she wouldnt tell me what was going on and my unborn child was killed. Anyway i started drinking quite badly to the lengths that i was sent home from work a couple of times.

When the next year of uni came round i was actually quite excited about being able to get away from things but things didnt turn out like that at all. I got with a bad crowd i suppose youd say and we got into a few feuds, on top of which i started doing coke, which iv now been told im dependent on. Anyway at this moment iv got 2 groups of people after me and iv just spent the weekend with my proper ex. The thing is i think shes found real love since wev broken up and well im not sure if she really cares about me anymore, i mean she left me alone today so she could go home.

Sorry if this was long but i felt like i needed to write it out

 

[Flatliner]

You've been through a few emotional episodes in quick succession of eachother so it's understandable that you are feeling like you are. I think that you may have buried your feelings about what your brother did and because of this emotional instability you've got at the moment those feelings are coming back out too.

I'm sorry to hear about your baby. It's a very difficult thing to have to deal with but she obviously had her reasons, however misplaced they may have been.

The way you've chosen to deal with your problems is self destructive and not a good way of letting it out. I think you need to find a different way and a different crowd of people to hang around with. Maybe you could join a sports club at your university? One you've never tried before but think you might enjoy.

It's hard to get over relationships but it can be done. Maybe time really does help when it comes to relationship breakups.

Sorry if I haven't been much help.

 

[Crazy Diamond]

Hey any reply is support for me. Nice to know there are people out there who want to help. Im not sure how much my problems now are due to what my brother did in the past. I thought i got over it but i probably havnt, i mean can you ever get over that? So much has happened to me this year. Its just so hard to see what the future can hold for me. I guess everyone says that but i mean i really dont think iv got much. I went to my uncles funeral 3 weeks ago and it really made me think about life and how easy it is to end it.

 

[Flatliner]

You've got your health. You've got a family. You've got the ability to think for yourself. The ability to want and change things for the better. You've had your fair share of bad experiences but they all seem to have happened at once so it seems like the world should end. But there's next year, and the year after that, and the year after that. When you think about it, a year really isn't that long a time. Put this year down as a learning experience and a growth of knowledge and use it to help you get yourself somewhere you want to be.

What do you want to do with your life?

 

[Crazy Diamond]

well i study history and politics at my university so something along those lines i guess. I know what your saying and to be honest your argument makes much more sense than what mine does. But thats looking at it in black and white. My life is just such a mess. Thanx for your support flatliner

 

[Flatliner]

It won't always be a mess. You're just stuck in the here and now, which is understandable. Just let these emotions run their course. You are a knowledgable person and intelligent and you are quite capable of getting yourself back on track.