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i need to die

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Darken, Aug 23, 2008.

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  1. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    I feel like I'm in hell. The only out of here is not god, its death. I'm compeltely alone in this world. There is not a single person who I can rely on to be here for me when I need them. Alone in darkness forever. I really need to die, there is no reason for me to keep living. Lets face the harsh reality of life, some of us should just give up. Sure people can keep trying and make it, but thats not many people. Years of more hell just to have a low chance of life getting a little better. No thanks I'd rather not take the risk, what have I got to lose by dying anyways?

    This world is gross. Rotting and unpleasant smelling things every where. Gore, violence, torture, and cruelty every where. To make it all even worse we are in total ignorance to the meaning of life in general and our personal lives. THis is a really really fucked up existence. Could be worse though aye? What if we were born as the animals humans torture. I'm in hell, I really believe it. This must be bad karma or some thing. I must have been some one extremely evil or some thing in my past life. OR maybe there isn't any past lives and I'm just really unlucky. The internet is no comfort to me at all. Even if I was rich, attractive, genius I would still feel the same. I see people suffering and I suffer too, this includes animals and other life forms.

    They will be really mad if I do It I know. They know I'm suicidal I've talked to my mom and sisters about it several times. They act like its some thing personal, Like I'm doing some thing to harm them? I'm doing it because the suffering in my life is ten times greater for me than the joy. Why would it matter to them? People die all the damn time and they don't care, but because I'm related by blood they have to keep me alive, even in great pain, even though I don't do any thing for them? Every little thing in life that you enjoy you have to work hard for it just to squeeze a little joy out of it.

    I know what would make me happy. Having the power to destory this fucking world.
  2. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I'm here for you if you need anyone :hug:

    Feel free to p.m. me if you need anything or just someone to talk to.

  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey Darken, I agree with most of what you have just said except for the part that you have no one you can rely on. You can rely on us, we are here for you :arms: Send me a PM hun , you can rely on me :hug: I hope you are just having a bad day and that you don't feel this way all the time , I'm here for you anytime :hug:
  4. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    hi hunni

    i think i get to feelin this bad sometimes too , i hope these feelings wont last for u they seem awful , give me a shout if i can help , listen or anything , my msn is trouble.jo@hotmail.co.uk take care hun

    love jo x
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I know you have struggled long and hard with these feelings. You have made it this far and survived. Now isn't the time to give in to the feelings. Depression adds to the bleakness of our situations and how we feel. You are not alone. You have a forum full of members willing to support you in your fight. :hug:
  6. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    I feel like I really am In some kind of dark void, with no end. I look around me and there isn't any thing else in existence. All alone. People say they can be my friend, they love me etcetera, but it just seems like empty meaningless words. BEcause no matter what I want I'm still in this pitch black void, all alone, ,my physical body is gone so suicide is not an option, pure consciousness with no end. HAve I seen a glimpse of the afterlife?

    I can't make it even if I wanted too. I'm a poor, incompetent uselss eater. I live off welfare like a parasite.

    Is it really my fault though? Is my horrible life completely my own fault? OR is it the fucked up corrupt society we live in? Maybe a combo of lots of things.
  7. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I agree with you, if you are healthy though then I envy you beacuse I am no longer healthy

    and no we live in a fucked up world, if you can get welfare then by all means take it and all the resources you can get

    the USA is a FUCKED UP CRUEL country, just look at the Republicans who are given power

    Fuck the USA
  8. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i really relate to this and sounds to me that the state of society and having a social conscience burns some of us. i wrote a blog on the same thing a while back, your words could be mine.
    the very fact that you think about these things and are not a thoughtless jerk who doesnt care makes you needed in this fucked up world. look at most people, selfish, greedy, inward thinking, prejudiced wankers. you are not like that... and thank god.
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