I feel like I'm in hell. The only out of here is not god, its death. I'm compeltely alone in this world. There is not a single person who I can rely on to be here for me when I need them. Alone in darkness forever. I really need to die, there is no reason for me to keep living. Lets face the harsh reality of life, some of us should just give up. Sure people can keep trying and make it, but thats not many people. Years of more hell just to have a low chance of life getting a little better. No thanks I'd rather not take the risk, what have I got to lose by dying anyways? This world is gross. Rotting and unpleasant smelling things every where. Gore, violence, torture, and cruelty every where. To make it all even worse we are in total ignorance to the meaning of life in general and our personal lives. THis is a really really fucked up existence. Could be worse though aye? What if we were born as the animals humans torture. I'm in hell, I really believe it. This must be bad karma or some thing. I must have been some one extremely evil or some thing in my past life. OR maybe there isn't any past lives and I'm just really unlucky. The internet is no comfort to me at all. Even if I was rich, attractive, genius I would still feel the same. I see people suffering and I suffer too, this includes animals and other life forms. They will be really mad if I do It I know. They know I'm suicidal I've talked to my mom and sisters about it several times. They act like its some thing personal, Like I'm doing some thing to harm them? I'm doing it because the suffering in my life is ten times greater for me than the joy. Why would it matter to them? People die all the damn time and they don't care, but because I'm related by blood they have to keep me alive, even in great pain, even though I don't do any thing for them? Every little thing in life that you enjoy you have to work hard for it just to squeeze a little joy out of it. I know what would make me happy. Having the power to destory this fucking world.