i need to find him

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by psycho8, Feb 29, 2008.

  1. psycho8

    psycho8 Well-Known Member

    i wasn't sure where to post this but it is related to the death of my mum...

    When i was nearly two my dad murdred my mum. He was given life with a minimum imprisonment of 12 years. He fought for access to me trought the courts, but the judge ruled no direct contact. He was released from jail in January 2006.
    I hate him for what he did, but i want to see him. I don't know anything about him apart from his name, and i don't want to ask my family about it for obvious reasons. I need to meet him but i don't know how...
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    The Salvation Army are the people to contact... they have a person tracing service. If you're in the USA I think the Mormons do the same sort of thing. Is there anyone to talk to about what feelings are behind your need to see him? It might be well to be prepared before you find him cos I imagine it could be pretty traumatic.

    Edit: Actually I see that you are in England. Here's the Salvation Army link... http://www2.salvationarmy.org.uk/familytracing
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 29, 2008
  3. psycho8

    psycho8 Well-Known Member

    I had a look but i don't know enough about him, you have to tell them the full name and date of birth of the person you want to trace, also you have to tell them your residential address so i imagine they send you stuff...i think my family would notice...

    i've thought about asking the psychologist i've been seeing since it happened... I think she has details about him...i'm going to wait a couple of months til i'm 16 though...i won't need parental consent then
  4. eutxry

    eutxry Member

    They are your parents, you have the right to know. I have no idea why you would hesitate to ask.
  5. Beattles

    Beattles Well-Known Member

    i have no idea why you didnt read that her mother has been killed by her father. theres more to the family than mum and dad.
  6. psycho8

    psycho8 Well-Known Member

    my family's very open about it, but i'm sure it would hurt them to know i wanted to see my dad
  7. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Maybe if you explained the reasons, and that it was for closure, they might understand.

    But i agree with Artifice, you need to clarify the reasons in your head why you want to see him, and maybe prepare some pre and post meeting councilling to make sure you dont get to distressed by the situation.

    Whatever you do, please make sure you are safe, physically and mentally, at all times on this journey xxx