How do I start this thread ? I have been through it all. Molested as a child, uncaring parents who were both alcoholics, father passed away at age 8, mother who left me alone many, many times. Eating out of trash cans, literally. She was married 8 times, all husbands met while both were drunk. Decent teenager life, which I created myself, working 50 hours a week, plus high school. But no real relationships because of the fact I couldnt stand my mother. I know, sounds horrible, but you dont have to like somebody just because of their title in your life, but only when the impact they have on your life is positive. And if it isnt positive, then you are under no obligation to "honor" them just because they are those "titles". Believe me when I say this is just the beginning. I can tell you many stories about being cheated on repeatedly, lied to, etc. My point is....through it all, I can honestly say that I am one of the most intelligent people you will ever meet. I would really like to help you if I can. But understand that I offer a no " bullshit " approach to helping others. And if you dont think I can relate to your issues....I have a colt .45 that I keep around me at all times. It is unloaded...but the clip is not very far away, and I have put it to my head many times and pulled the trigger, just to practice. If it wasnt for my dog who is very special to me, it would be loaded. Anyway, let me know if I can help, what have you got to lose ?