I Need To Smoke And To Talk

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Its Currently 2:43 am
And Pouring Outside
So The Cigarette Will Have To Wait
I'll make Myself Some Coffee Then Sit Alone Outside
Its No Different Than Sitting In Here Alone
I Miss Him
I Keep Telling Myself That I Can't Fall Inlove
That He's Just An Asshole
That Treated Me Horribly
But I Love Him
I Wish Someone Would Understand
But No One Supports This
And Now He Is Ignoring Me
I Am Giving Up On Alot
I'm Done With The Fake I Love You's
I'm Done With The Late Night Phone Calls
I'm Done With The Sorry's And I Apoligize
I'm Done Crying
I'm Done Trying To Die
I Hate The Way I Feel
I Want My Meds To Start Working Again
I Want To Smile And Have It Be Fucking Real
I Want My Insomnia To Go Away
I Want To Be Loved
But I Guess I Don't Deserve That
What Have I Done With Myself
I Want My Independant Self Back
Before I Loved
When I Had Convinced Myself I Was Done With This Manic Bull Shit
God I Need A Fucking Cigarett Right Now
I Can't Even Spell

I Needed This I Needed To Ramble
But I Still Feel Like Shit
I'm sorry you still feel bad even after this post, and that you have so much bad stuff going on right now :(
You do deserve to be loved though, everyone does.
Have you seen your doctor about your meds? Maybe they will change the med or dosage? Hopefully that would help you feel better :)
I hope you get it sorted out. In the meantime, we're here to listen, ok?
Take care,

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