I really need to quit drinking. It makes me feel worse, and needy. It is so embarrassing. I don't even have enough money to be going out and buying beer. I mostly drink because of loneliness and anger. I always drink alone not by choice but circumstance, but I am not even sure if I even want to be drinking with other people. When I drink it is a very personal thing, but then I feel like talking to someone when I am drunk so it obviously isn't that personal. Drinking is such a fuckin waste in every way possible that I could think of. I just spent the whole night binge drinking and now I have an upset stomach and upset mother. Last night was the first time I ever passed out in my car overnight. I woke up in some damn empty lot, I felt like such loser. I drink to feel numb, that is the goal. Last night I had almost 8 beers, I just kept drinking until I could feel no more. I would like to feel numb all the time, that's why I keep drinking. The anti depressants aren't working. I have so many unresolved issues in my life and talking about them doesn't help much, nothing helps, except drinking to not feel anything anymore. I don't want to drink anymore, at least not for a while, starting today. I have enough problems.