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I need to take my pill

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It's hard to think everyday is a day spent.
That one day my clock will stop ticking, and with that, comes the end of my breathing. It's hard knowing how pitiful you are to be so remotely aware of the one life you have that you're too afraid to live it; Risk to live as they say. They also say that life is gods gift to us. What's a gift if it's never truly yours? That the one chance you were given, at the early stages of egg and sperm will ultimately be ripped away, and you're the one left struggling to take your last breath. It isn't fair. Why should we die in a world of beauty? Why do we need to leave it behind? Why must we go through the torture of not knowing? Why must I be so damn afraid? Why am I so practical? So unable to take charge?Why am i so quiet? Especially when I want to scream every single day? Why am I so emotional? Why can't I stop the crying every single night? Why am I so acutely aware that every second I'm dying? Why do i want to die in the first place? Why do i realize this at sixteen? Why does god get to choose the span of our lifetime? Why cant i die on my own terms, take my las breath on my own time? Why does he take back his gift? Why can't I just return it? Why
Am I cursed with my own thoughts? Why am I living? why is life so cruel?

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
You are so young and you do have so many thoughts and questions but that is okay. I have had those same thoughts somewhat myself when i was your age. The thing is your situation in life changes as you get older things become more clearer life becomes more of what you chose to do with it. It is okay to have questions but i would use some of that energy you have on just enjoying life okay seeing what is infront of you and taking each day as it comes and make the best of it. Don't ask why thing are just enjoy them while they are there.
The answers will come with time so don't worry okay hugs to you:hugtackles::hugtackles:


Well-Known Member
First want to say, Welcome to the forums.

There are a lot of questions you have right now, and a lot of people ask those same questions when they are depressed. I think the point of right now is to try and find your own answers to some of them. There are so many things you could do with your life. And things are changing a lot for you right now. Give yourself some time to come up with these answers. :hug:

I hope you are ok. Take care
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