I need to talk.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ryanglander, May 14, 2009.

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  1. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    I have so many infractions I can't PM anyone. I have been feeling really suicidal and I won't to get rid of my "tools" that I can use for my suicide. I don't know how to dispose of it. I know I can't say what it is or I'll prolly get another infraction. I've searched the internet and I'm afraid someone in my house will find these "suicide tools". Please help, I need to get rid of them, while I'm feeling good.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    what do you think will help you??? if you feel strong, get rid of what you have and try to feel proud that you did it...J
  3. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    I can't just throw this in the woods, or put it in the trash. The problem is I don't know how to get rid of it. Its not safe...
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I think getting rid of them is a good idea.

    I'm not sure if you're able to get visitor messages. If not, and you still need someone to talk to, I can post my email address.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    If you wanna talk on msn,let me know here :hug:
  6. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Maybe try burying it/them? Wrap it/them up tightly and then bury them.
  7. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    1) Incinerate them.
    2) Give to family.

    Those are 2 options right there.
  8. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    Neither option is possible. Family cannot know I'm suicidal, it would make things much worse, I know this for a fact.

    It's ok, I'm going to keep it, I've had enough and I can't take anymore. I used to fear the other side, but its worth the gamble, I'm waiting to be left alone for a weekend comming up. I hope I just turn into nothing, that would be heaven.
  9. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    Also I haven't been able to see clearly. I've been on an anti-depressent for the past 3 months, now that I'm comming off of it I am able to see clearly for the first time since my dad died. He wanted to die to, and my family wanted him dead, they want me dead, but because of hate, not pitty. My dad said living on drugs is no way to live. I refuse to stay on a drug, I refuse to be verbally abused by my family, and I refuse to live. I don't even know why I'm still posting, I guess I'm still a little afraid to die, you can't take away all the fear can you?

    I want to go without the influence of drugs and alcohol, its more honorable.
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Is there any way you can get away from your abusive family, so that you can try to live a better life?
  11. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    I applied to four schools that are on the other side of the country. If I get accepted to anyone of them I'm going to go there, and never come back here. I'm so depressed I don't know how I'll be able to make friends, I already have anxiety about sitting alone at lunch and shit. Well its not high school, I could eat at an apartment I would get alone, but its not good for me to be alone.
  12. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    Talk to your doc and see if he can get you off the anti-depressants. I know I shouldn't generalize, but those damn drugs were involved in the worst attempts I ever made. They may help some people, but I think they are deadly for others. Even the medical community figured that out about Prozac, not supposed to give it to suicidals anymore. I don't think anybody knows how many people it killed while Eli Lilly covered it up. Sorry if I sound bitter, but, hey, bitter is better than a lot of things.
    On the stuff... If you can't get rid of it all, get rid of just one thing. Baby steps. Sometimes it's not a day at a time, but just 1 minute at a time.
    Back on the drugs - you may need a safe place to detox, don't be afraid to ask for help. Drug toxicity makes a believable cover for a hospitalization. Nobody outside the ward needs to know why you're there.
    Talk to us.
  13. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry its over.
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