Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Itiswhatitis, Feb 9, 2014.
I need someone to talk to. Someone who understands.
I deal with suicidal thoughts every day but I won't lie to you no one can completely understand what you personally are going through. That being said talking to just anyone in general can always help. If you want to talk email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
does it help in text, i don't know, but to me it seems that its like typing to myself. i cant talk to anyone in my life. one friend of mine asked me if i needed to talk when i canceled plans because of personal issues, ( she doesn't know about my problem ) i was halfway tempted because i was desperate, but i couldn't come out with, yeah i want to kill my self, how are you? lol that would be bad. today i sent my pic to someone ive been talking to for a little while. he just said i need to smile more. i was crushed, im thinking WOW that bad huh? i needed at least a real live person to talk to. i suppose there's no hope for that if i don't look like a hottie. but i guess im putting myself in a real dangerous potion where i have to open up to the possibility of getting shut down all the time. i just cant seem to figure life out ya know, it just seems like a big game that everyone's playing, and i never get picked for a team.
i could tell you that its going to get better, or that ill always be here if you wanna talk, but i honestly don't know what to say, cause i have no idea what id want someone to say to me. i think honestly i would just want someone to know everything about me ( well almost everything lol ) and accept me for who i am. i dont need to talk about how much life sucks all the time, but i would like someone to be there when i need to.
We are the only ones that can understand, people that suffer. Healthy people may know its real, but they will never truly understand that pain and suffering we go through. My next door neighbor suffers from depression, yet I see him able to function make food, go to gym etc. I wish I had that type of depression, isnt that terrible envying someone else that suffers also...sigh. Go to the chat rooms, I find it helpful at times.
I finally broke down tonight and told someone that I thought I trusted that I was seriously suicidal, and they replied with "wanna go to a hockey game?" Wtf?
I am the definition of insignificant.
I can be that person for you
hockey game???? WOW how weird is that? really? if someone said that to me id feel pretty insignificant too. that sucks. the last time i told anyone i thought i trusted, they called the police on me and put me in the mental institution. crazy thing is, this was a person who told me not long before that, that she was tempted to kill herself because of her husband. i felt so betrayed and our friendship had never been the same. i tried to forget it and confide in her about other stuff, but she always ended up betraying me with it one way or another. she was the only person i thought i could confide in. its like something i heard once ( id rather be alone, than surrounded by people who make me feel alone ).
you know that big game everyone's playing that i never get picked for. i don't think i want to play anyway lol
Thank you, faithink. That's exactly how I feel. You get it
i think there is a reason why there is very few of us, it blew my mind when i found that out. i was talking to a therapist who asked me. " how often do you think a normal person thinks of suicide?" im like" well jeeze, at least once". he said no, " a normal person thinks about suicide 0 times " im like " in their whole life? No way!!!!!" the therapist kept shaking his head. i was astounded. to me there is no possible way a person could go without thinking about it at least once in their lifetimes. Honestly, i thought it would have been normal for a normal person to think about it at least 5 times in their lifetime. but i told the therapist 1 just to be on the safe side lol. but i really couldn't fathom that, cause to me its just normal, painful but normal. if you ever need someone to talk to, ill definitely get it. though sometimes im not on the computer all the time, and my phone is a dinosaur cause i broke my android lol but im going through some junk right now too, i really screwed up and put myself out there when i really shouldn't have, and i knew i wouldn't be able to handle it.
PM open if you feel the need to chat Itiswhatitis