Hello to whoever reads this. Right now I'm pretty tightly wound and needed somewhere to be other than in my head. I am a 24-year-old female, a teacher, and currently working part-time at a bakery because my learning center laid me off due to lack of finances. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and clinical depression, and I am currently receiving therapy and medication. Unfortunately, nothing has been helping lately and right now I am in a bad home situation. To put it bluntly, I might be homeless by the end of the month because without a better job I can't meet the financial demands of my adopted father. Never mind that I babysit my youngest brother, clean the house, and do the cooking when I am home; if I can't earn money then I need to get out. I've been trying hard to find a job. I attempted suicide twice before, once when I was five and again when I was sixteen. I have contemplated suicide more then I can count. I was doing well for a while and then tonight was a breaking point. We had a family dinner with guests - in our house - and I wasn't allowed to eat. In the house I clean. The house I usually cook for. The $150 I make for the house with my part time job is good enough to take for house bills but doesn't get me a meal on the table. I felt cheap and worthless, and worst of all I feel as though my only worth as a human being is how much I can financially bring to the table. And while I'm lucky my adopted father is only verbally and emotionally abusive, that's not the case with my real parents. My mother was a drug addict, pathological liar, and physically and emotionally abusive. When I was in college she stole my identity and racked up thousands of dollars of debt in my name. I stopped speaking to her for years, only to resume because my brother begged me to, but it's only the occasional phone call. My biological father... has problems keeping his hands to himself, and says rather inappropriate things and tries to corner me when we're alone...which I try very hard not to ever be alone with him. So here I am, because while part of me wants to say 'screw it', I know a bigger part of me wants to try and work things out. I have helped talk friends out of suicide, and have helped my friends leave their abusive relationships, but when it comes to myself I get to a point where I'm at a loss. Writing this did help me feel better already, though.