...and it never does. No job, stuck living with dad and stepmother and her spawn from hell... Panic attacks and OCD. Afraid every second of the day. Unable to speak, to say no, to rebel and ask for what I want. 350lbs and unable to stop eating. Cheesy advice makes me sick, so stop giving it. worthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthless Useless. Don't want to give in, to let them be the cause of my destroying myself. I have my way out- the stockpile... surely the amount I've built up couldn't be defeated. It is the ultimate poison collection. Just waiting for my brain to switch off... or more precisely my survival instinct that comes in the form of cowardice. Why wont it switch off..? DAMN IT, SWITCH THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!