I never believed it would get better.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Woodsmoke, Aug 24, 2013.

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  1. Woodsmoke

    Woodsmoke Well-Known Member

    ...and it never does.

    No job, stuck living with dad and stepmother and her spawn from hell...

    Panic attacks and OCD.

    Afraid every second of the day.

    Unable to speak, to say no, to rebel and ask for what I want.

    350lbs and unable to stop eating.

    Cheesy advice makes me sick, so stop giving it.

    worthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthlessworthless

    Useless.

    Don't want to give in, to let them be the cause of my destroying myself.

    I have my way out- the stockpile... surely the amount I've built up couldn't be defeated. It is the ultimate poison collection.

    Just waiting for my brain to switch off... or more precisely my survival instinct that comes in the form of cowardice.

    Why wont it switch off..? DAMN IT, SWITCH THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Won't give you cheesy advice
    just want you to know i hear you and hope you don't let them win hun you stay here ok fight better when your not on your own
     
  3. Tempaccount

    Tempaccount Active Member

    I've never been one to give advice on these forums. But I just wanted to post and say I can relate to exactly what you're going through.
     
  4. Woodsmoke

    Woodsmoke Well-Known Member

    Thanks peoples. :)
     
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    As others have said, I won't give cheesy advice. Just want you to know you're being heard and taken seriously, and I care. Here if you ever want someone to talk to, you can PM me anytime.
     
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