being abused as a child and throughout my life, I feel like I never got a chance at life. its unfair. no one i know has gone through abuse, and it always makes me feel alone. no one understands what its like. I cant trust men, i dont think anyone can possibly love me, if they say they do I think they are lying and just want to hurt me. if someone makes a sudden movement i think they are going to hit me, i have the worst anxiety because im afraid if i say the wrong thing someone will hit me. I have really bad relationship problems. i have severe paranoia; I can't walk home alone, if i hear a sound outside i think it could be an ex looking for me and i grab my mace and curl into a little ball in the corner of my room until i feel safe again. and when i try to talk to people about it, no one listens. its too much for anyone to hear. they say i shouldnt care, that it was the past and its over, they dont get it. I feel so so so alone sometimes. all I want is to meet someone with a similar past that understands me.