All those icky couples would say "Baby I can't breathe without you," and I would always roll my eyes at comments like that. Now, I've been on and off depressed for years, possibly bipolar disorder, I have no clue. unwilling to see a doctor. A few months ago I was happy. I was with this guy who was too old for me. This might sound wrong, or bad. But no - it was absolutely perfect. I would give anything to relive those days we spent together. He knew so much more than me. He always had something to show me. He always said to come to him for any help or advice. He always knew what to say to me. I've never felt such powerful vivid feelings before in my life, despite past boyfriends that I had once thought I loved. But this man, he made me feel alive. Everything felt alright each time we were apart, with the thought that I'd soon be back in his arms. However....everything has fallen apart. He's given up. He said it's too hard with the age difference. I thought this would be like other breakups - I'd cry for a day and then see the silver lining and realize it was okay. I was wrong..here I am, waiting. It feels like nothing will ever be worth it. It feels like, even if I grew to love someone else, this man would still be in the back of my mind. I feel like I'll never get over him. I WAS NOT ready for this to be over. Now I can't go more than a few minutes without tearing up or thinking about him. Of course there are other reasons I am sad - I don't appreciate life. It's monotonous; we work our whole lives and then die. But in summary, I'm saying that I really, really want to die. I just don't know if I have the guts. One of these days I might be pushed over the edge though. I just don't see the point in going through misery if I'm going to die eventually anyways.