I am posting this here, because even though I didnt make an official "attempt" I did mentally. I have been thru the grinder the past couple of days and I feel so sick right now, especially physically. I have stomach pain and headaches all of which have been brought on by the stress. Truth is I never wanted to die. I dont want to die now, or ever. My faith tells me that I will live forever as it is, but as far as this mortal existence goes, I want to be around for the good things to come. It's just that when a person finds themselves in a situation of complete and total hopelessness there seems little options left. For me, the only option was the final one. I think I knew that there was the option of living thru the pain and ordeals of the mess that I thought would come, but that option seemed even more unbearable. Another truth is that I am too much of a wimp to actually go thru with it. Oh I have attempted in the past...but those attempts were wimpy at best as well. I have always been accused of having no backbone. I guess in this case I dont as well. And I am very particular in how my death should come. I dont want to leave a mess. Do you that when you die, you crap your pants? I dont even want to think about that. lol So, I am here...I will talk to my doc about this recent ordeal. I am waiting until I get a form in the mail from my FMLA people, as I missed work yesterday because of my back injury and well, they need a form filled out to excuse the day. once I get that form, I can knock out 2 birds with one stone. I have an hour and a half to go at work, and I just want to go home and sleep.