But ... here I am. I'm so tired of living, but if I offed myself now, what would everything I've worked so hard to accomplish mean? Nothing. But God, I just hate it. To the masses I'm a thirteen year old girl who's just going through a 'phase'. She doesn't really hurt, they say. She doesn't know what that means. Tell me what it means, then. Tell me what it means to have a gaping hole in your chest. Tell me what it means to need to cry, but not be able to squeeze a tear out. I want to know.