I never will be good enough will I

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Issaccs, Aug 28, 2008.

  1. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Why cant you do this Ivan, Ivan, why are you doing that Ivam, Univeristy Ivan? More money from me, you not cut out for that Ivan.

    The only time they ever make an effort too talk to me is to slag me off and tell me how fucking useless I am, how no matter how much effort I put into something its never fucking good enough.
    I got the best fucking grades in the dan school in primary SATS, "but they could have been better"
    Same again, in secondary, two sevens and a six? WHY WASNT IT THREE SEVENS? Never mind only one person in the entire school got them, I can never bloody well do good enough for them, so why is it a surprise I couldnt care less about my damn GCSE's and A Levels, I know you slag me off to everyone anyway, my friends always comment on how when they see you, its always Ivan that can't do well enough, in two fucking hours of being around you they see it, see the favoritism towards my fucking sister. Im so god damned angry now, SNAP OUT OF IT IVAN, Why are you fucking down all the time, they should be dead, not me planning to see how long it takes them to find me in the fucking attic.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Ivan...so sad to hear what they are doing, but, more importantly, how do you create a more effective boundary to say it is THEIR problem and, regardless of what they say, you are good and worthy??? this is one of the more difficult thing one can do, but it seems more useful work than defending against their poison...big hugs, J
  3. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    I just tried it, she came up to yell more, and I tell her that its her thats upsetting me, so she starts hitting me, yelling louder, telling me that eveythings my fault.
  4. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Im coming to accept that Im never going to have a life I can ejoy living, never going to have a job I like, never going to have things I want to do, fuck friends, fuck people, fuck clothes and fuck cars and houses and everything else, its all fucking worthless.
  5. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Well i think ur good enough hunni
    I think ur great :hug:
    dont give up on urself , ur a nice guy with caring values.

    love Jo xxxxxxxxxxx
  6. 643921

    643921 Active Member

    Well you did better than I did, you can't give up and you're not worthless. What are you doing at the moment? Have you finished your A-levels yet?
  7. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Ive done them yes, and I am worthless, I've accepted that, anything else is just fucking delusion.
  8. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Two months have gone and no one disagrees eh, nice vote of confidence

    Im feeling low right now, my moods been cycling for lack of a better term all day, angry and teary despair mostly.
    I just feel more and more fucking useless as times going on, even getting a bloody jobs done nothing, just looking at my co workers and thinking
    What the fuck do I do so different to them, why are they normal, happy and fucking content.
    Why am I so fucking ugly, so fucking incompetent, why can I not find pleasure in the same shit as everyone else.
    I just don't see the point in carrying this shit on much longer, the same shit, day in, day out with fuck all to look forward to, nothing to aspire too.