I often wonder which would hurt less:

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Freya, May 12, 2014.

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  1. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    a) Simply accepting that I will always ALWAYS be alone - that when it comes to the crunch I will always deal with things on my own - that there will never be anyone to shoulder part of the burden - that every single day will start and end in the darkness alone. Accept it and build the relevant walls.

    b) Trying to have faith in 'someday' - in 'someone' even though the concept seems almost comical in the face of the 33 years (nearly) leading up to this point.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Freya you don't know that hun really you don't the future can bring some connections many many that do not find someone till later on you cannot give up hope ok if that is what you are looking for h ugs
     
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :hug: I'm sorry this is a question that you're wondering about. Feeling alone can hurt when we want and need a helping hand. I've had my own ups and downs with this kind of thing. :arms:

    "Always" and "never" are absolutes. We really can't say what the future holds. How about accepting things as they are right now with the option to reevaluate as life goes on? I would keep my options open so that if someone were to come along, I wouldn't block them because of a decision I made at a time when I was hurting or afraid of being hurt in the future.

    Whether it is love or friendship you want, there are many ways to meet people and to get to know others. Perhaps join some interest groups, volunteer, take a live class, join a gym, sign up for a charity run... The people we meet might or might not click with us immediately, and vice versa...I try not to over-emphasize in my mind what any one given social event means - it's one day/night. It's a chance to get out and simply "be with" people. If it's not my cup of tea, it's one evening gone. If it was OK, but not wonderful, maybe I need to see this person/these people again to see if it was an off night for them, me or both of us. And then keep on trying after that.

    Life ebbs and flows. I hope you don't give up on finding companionship and/or love. Everyone needs friends and love. :)
     
  4. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    You are talking like you are 63, not 33?! Definitely B....
     
  5. Jae

    Jae Well-Known Member

    a) Simply accepting that I will always ALWAYS be alone - that when it comes to the crunch I will always deal with things on my own - that there will never be anyone to shoulder part of the burden - that every single day will start and end in the darkness alone. Accept it and build the relevant walls.

    ..i tried many times the trusting and hoping..and i always end up broken..it is much better if i am alone...
     
  6. ViolentGirl

    ViolentGirl Banned Member

    I think this is an interesting question because it asks "Which on would hurt less?" Not, "Which one is actually the truth?"

    This is in by no means an attack against the OP -so I hope it won't be taken as one- but I think that people, in general, take up beliefs based on what feels best (what hurts the least).

    I don't think people should base their life on what hurts less, but on what's more true.

    The truth often hurts like hell. Take myself, I've become weak. I could tell myself that is a God who loves me no matter who I am, and that would make me feel better. It would hurt less. But I don't believe it's the truth.

    I read somewhere (Psychology Today magazine, I believe) that lying to ourselves is necessary for happiness. Maybe that's true.
     
  7. Ever Infinity

    Ever Infinity New Member

    This isn't really a question that anyone can answer but you because it's rigged. For you're "A" option you need to analyze exactly what it is that makes you feel that you always be alone. I'm guessing it's based off of past experiences but if you let the past define you then you're future is already predetermined because you will simply self-fulfill your own prophecy. I don't know you personally so I can't say for sure but you need to pin-point what is causing your own belief; yes if you aren't normal and fit into society like a perfectly oiled cog then you need to change your own perceptions of life. Perhaps in the future we will be able to manually rewire the neural connections in our minds but this is 2014; if connection means that much then you have to get over your own fears until you find people who will stay by your side. If you don't want to be a fatalist then you need to forge your own path in life; go against the grain of your impulses. Though genes dictate much more on personality and perception than people would like to think; we are animals controlled by the biological wiring of our minds. If you want to change your natural disposition then you must make your perceptions unnatural. The choice of "a" or "b" is up to you but just remember there is always an option "c" I wish you the best, friend :)
     
  8. nessa456

    nessa456 Active Member

    I think it's better to always hope for improvement in your situation. I have often felt alone; that there have only been my parents on my side, so I have tried to make connections with other people by joining social groups and dating sites. I have seen it as a mission to find someone, like looking for a job be cause I am no good at going out and meeting people, so it's very important for me to have at least one person I can talk to. Always trying to find someone is the main thing, no matter how long it takes. Also the more people you interact with, the easier it becomes to work out which people are on your wavelength.
     
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