I only feel happy when I dream.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by odogg, Oct 21, 2009.

  1. odogg

    odogg New Member

    Even then, sometimes I dream of losing someone close or dying. I should be happy because I am married, we have above average combined income, and things are looking up at the moment. The thing is that I don't think any amount of money will make me feel better. I've always just kept it all bottled inside. I've never talked to anyone about depression. Its led me to making horrible decisions in my life. Sometimes I feel good, most times I feel really bad. I write from time to time in a journal because its the only thing I can think of to help. My marriage seems to be coming to an end and I'm not sure how I will deal with that. I wrote this when I realized it was really that bad.

    My bridges will soon be burned.
    I'll have no where else to turn to.
    That was the only place I wanted to be.
    There is no tomorrow.
    There is no today.
    There is only this moment
    and then it all goes away.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think it is a good time now to talk about your depression to reach out and get support. Talk with your doctor to see if change up your medication or if you are not on anything to start some. Who knows all the new meds out these days you might just find the right one to make your life livable again. Talk with your wife it is only through communication she can truly understand
  3. Fdt

    Fdt Well-Known Member

    You have good poetic skills.