I only feel like myself when I'm living like an anorexic.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by A_pixie, Feb 1, 2009.

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  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I excercise, lift weights and if Im hungy I eat blueberries and drink around 18 cups of green tea to fill me up and burn calories.

    I'm only happy when I'm starving I don't understand! My family and boyfriend are worried but I resent them for that. When they cook for me I can't always get rid of it and it chips away and my happiness when I have to eat.

    Eating actually makes me go into a rage. I hate it.

    My personality is more vibrant and chatty when I don't eat because I am happy I have eaten under what I should everyday, I feel more confident and more in control of my life.

    I just don't get this.
  2. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    You are not alone. I feel happier when fasting and disappointed with myself when not fasting.
  3. Thinice

    Thinice Well-Known Member

    I understand completely. I feel more comfortable sticking to my own eating habits because it's who I am and I don't want to change that. Which why it annoys me so much when everyone tells me to eat something... it's trying to make me be someone I'm not.
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I wis people could accept what I eat, I mena Im not eating too little to kill me, I take supplements etc to keep me healthy....everybody is pissing me off trying to get me to eat stuff I just don't want to.
  5. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    i think a lot of people will be able to understand what you're saying and be able to relate. i love the control i get from managing my weight and knowing when and why i lose/put on weight. but then i can also see the other side - people are telling you you should eat more because they are worried about you being unhealthy and getting ill. i know it's hard to get through to people, or for people to get through to you, depending on who feels who is correct in the matter - but you should see things from their point of view, just like they should see it from yours.
    good luck hun
  6. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    as Locket said,
    a lot of people will be able to relate.

    i can relate
    with cutting
    i feel like, this is how i am
    who i am
    i dont wanna change
    and i feel bad when i do

    messed up consciences :(
    as long as your healthy pixie :hug:
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    maybe it's just a safety that you're used to :dunno:

    now my ED has changed, i don't feel like this anymore.

    once you're in a pattern and you know of nothing else, then what you're feeling is understandable.
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