Ok so I've had a *method* planned to end my life for ages now. But today was the first time that I ever went into the garage, opened the special cupboard with a key and saw it, in its leather case. Then I unlocked the smaller compartment with the ammo in, opened up the box, just to have a look.... Seeing it there and thiking how my life could cease kinda excited me. I felt happy that it IS there. I don't know why I'm writing this really:unsure: Just that I ask myself whether I could really do something like this, I mean I want it so bad, but could I really end it? Could you, with it starring back at you in the face?