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Empathy Only I post here when needing help

Raven

Public Access
#84
Thanks everyone here! Yesterday I had a lesson on psychology at school and it said that people's mood is like a wave, I can't agree more! I didn't expect I would feel better later when I was anxious. But I did that.:)

And @Petal, your kind words always bring me warmth, and thanks for your care when I need it most! :) somehow I forget to tag you in my last post, but I appreciate your every words so much.
 

Petal

Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#85
Thanks everyone here! Yesterday I had a lesson on psychology at school and it said that people's mood is like a wave, I can't agree more! I didn't expect I would feel better later when I was anxious. But I did that.:)

And @Petal, your kind words always bring me warmth, and thanks for your care when I need it most! :) somehow I forget to tag you in my last post, but I appreciate your every words so much.
Don't worry hun, *hug *hug I hope today gets a little brighter for you. :)
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#86
Anxiety makes me think about how would others think about me all the time! I hate myself for doing something wrong. I can't control it.
I'm afraid if people don't want to speak to me or help me anymore although that's not true.
The feeling is similar to my first post of this thread.
After those things, can I still get some help? I don't want to be selfish but I...
Another complete mess in my head. What's that for?*help[/QUOTE

OCD is an anxiety disorder
 

Raven

Public Access
#88
*hug Thinking of you sweetie, you're in all our thoughts, keep posting if you find it helps :)
Thank you...that's really nice to know you are thinking of me, I appreciate it so much. I thought no one would think of me, or they just thought about how "bad" I was because I easily cried or so on. So thank you for letting me know I am cared.
 

Petal

Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#89
Thank you...that's really nice to know you are thinking of me, I appreciate it so much. I thought no one would think of me, or they just thought about how "bad" I was because I easily cried or so on. So thank you for letting me know I am cared.
You are definitely cared for here hun *yes you're a lovely and appreciative person, keep on being you, you're adored 💕
 

Raven

Public Access
#90
I got angry again. I just don't want to sleep.
I can't forgive myself! (Sorry those above are what I typed yesterday's night)

I don't know why, once my mood is great and I have a good day, then it will always turn worse with suicidal thoughts, anxiety and unbearable empty feelings, and the feelings of I can't forgive myself. If that's because my adolescence I would hate myself so much because I can't get over what every teen need to face. And SF is the only place I can tell others about it. But I'm afraid if I did something wrong and that makes me anxious. And did I do something wrong?
 

sinking_ship

Awesome SFer
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#91
Here? You certainly did nothing wrong here. I know that feeling, I'm familiar with it. It's important to try to argue with it rationally.

Don't try to compare yourself to other people your age. Everyone experiences life differently, and has different emotional reactions to things. If it's harder for you, it's harder, it doesn't mean you're less capable and it definitely doesn't mean you're worthy of any hatred.

*hug
 

extraterrestrialone

11% more in a recent study of those who do
SF Supporter
#92
Hi @MelancholyRaven I never saw this thread. sometimes a thread might not be easily visible just at the time someone (such as myself) is looking around and then they they can’t see it. today i guess i arrived just at the right time.

i just want to tell you i know what you are talking about and have had similar experiences. so i know the feelings. i also know that even though feelings can get really bad, they do have a way of moving into a good place too and i’m hoping yours are headed in that direction if not already there. you always have my thoughts for happyness for you.

if i miss a thread i would otherwise respond to its most likely because i haven’t seen it. also I’m at work during the week but i’m always falling asleep at work so you can come and wake me up - especially if you have a poem or drawing.
 

Raven

Public Access
#94
Just want to thank you all! @sinking_ship @extraterrestrialone @DrownedFishOnFire
Maybe I just need to try to make myself not so sensitive, well it really not a good feeling of failing in those things I like (happened today). But SF calms me down a lot, and I at least feel a little better now.
also I’m at work during the week but i’m always falling asleep at work so you can come and wake me up - especially if you have a poem or drawing.
I will do if I have a poem and drawing! And here's one lying in the poet corner and I'm not sure if you have already read it!
 

Raven

Public Access
#96
I don't know why, I just don't want to feel.
I find it hard to concentrate on everything and I'm afraid. I'm afraid of failing.
I don't want to feel everything because I hate one minute I feel happy and another minute I feel bad. I'm soooo afraid. I don't want to fall behind in study, but that's hard for me to sit down and think carefully. I just can't.
 

sinking_ship

Awesome SFer
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#97
Here's a thing that I've waited way too long in my life to learn, and still haven't really fully absorbed. Failure is a part of life. But it's also something you can and will recover from. If you fail (at school or anything), the consequences for it will certainly not be as bad as you are fearing. And if you succeed, you'll do so whether you've tortured yourself for hours/days/weeks or not. So try the thing rather than torture yourself.

Let yourself feel right now. You're feeling worse for shoving it down. Give yourself a time limit, 20 or 30 minutes maybe. Cry, scream, punch a pillow. When you're done, take a deep breath, drink a glass of water, and just do the work. Don't question it, just do it. If the fear starts to creep in, just say no - you can think about that later. It's not helpful, that fear. You're braver and stronger than you think you are. *hug
 

Raven

Public Access
#98
Thank you so much! @sinking-ship
I have to do those things now...It has been a long time since I vent in a useful way by screaming and so on. Because I can't, anytime, anywhere. I will be in trouble when I did it, my parents will be very angry even I try my best to hide from them, somehow they will always notice that, but they never know how to do! They are good at making me feel worse by telling me I'm a failure and I won't success if I still act that way. For me, every fail makes me feel suicidal. If my parents' opinion is true, why I'm still alive?! The only thing that keeps me alive is my goal for life.
Sometimes I do that out of control in school, then...I have been in a lot of trouble because of this, I hate it. Everybody hate me because they saw me lose control easily and they think I'm insane, and that's funny, so they bully me, wanting to see me cry or try to kill myself, or just ignore my existence. (there are also other reasons such as being different in hobbies etc)
So what's that...I tried my best to keep a good grade, to be one of the top students, so they didn't consider me as a total failure in life. So in some ways I can live a not-so-bad life. But now everything changed because I no longer easily understand what teachers said. I can't concentrate. If it continues I will be more depressed or anxious than ever. I can't accept fails, because I just can't.
I don't know what to do. Force myself sit down and do homework? Impossible. I can't do anything. I can't. I just can't. I don't want to exist.
And I don't want to see anyone suffering...sorry if my post becomes a trigger.
 

Raven

Public Access
I see every body has been giving you tons of empathy only. You're probably tired of that shit by now:) So, here I am, and I'm asking, WHY?

Why don't you want to exist?
Thank you for caring!
I feel like that from time to time, sometimes I'm so anxious so I think if I didn't exist, I won't feel that way. You may find the reason above. Oh this question is a bit hard to answer...:( But thank you so much.
 

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