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  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    I never thought the one person here I cared about the most would ever hurt me. Guess I was wrong. I wasnt prepared for this and as a result I am leaving a week for now. maybe perm later. I cant handle this. Not her... not now. I will always care about her and i hope she knows that but she has also hurt me really bad. i should have known better than to put my trust and love into anyone again. Honestly, ive never told her to leave me alone or to back off but im saying it now. I care but dont talk to me. Ive had it with people. I thought she was the one person who understood. Guess i was wrong again. I dont want this person to use this as an excuse to do something stupid cuz her life is worth something even tho right now she doesnt feel like it is... ever since i met her Ive known that. She hurt me yes but maybe she didnt mean to.... that is unknown and will never be answered. as she put it 'i dont mean to start drama'. but in a way she did because she must have known what my reaction was going to be. and telling me she is always there for me and then turning around and do what she did... no I wont be helping anyone anymore. If u need help go to someone else I am done. I quit and I am done. Im bawling my eyes out harming and on the edge of suicidal... hate is a very strong word and although I don't hate her, I hate the way she went about it. So if your reading this take care of ur family. don't worry about me I wont be here anymore for u to see or think of or care about. ill just disappear from ur life.... as u said before... 'as everyone else has done to you' ... so you turn around and do it to the ones who care about u...
  2. Evanesce

    Evanesce Well-Known Member

    Hi Numb
    I've no idea what is going for you so I'm not going to tell you that I understand totally what you are going through. I do know that you have helped me several times. Today you listened to me and talked to me and I want to thank you for that. A while ago you gave me a link to an instrumental piece of music with a breathing exercise and that helped me. I shared that with a friend overseas who was struggling and it also helped them. I've watched people on here and I've seen how people are with others. I'm not always the most tactful or understanding and sometime a little selfish. But I've seen you help others. I don't want you to just disappear, just as I don't want you to hurt yourself either. Please if you need to talk feel free to ask me. You have a caring side and that makes you as I am very vunerable to hurt.
    Please don't disappear forgive, you are important and you matter.
  3. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    I have asked for leave. hopefully it will happen tonight. I am not ok at all. I never thought she would be the one to do it. guess im a bad judge of ppl since I still care about her.. I just need time away. sometimes... sometimes its better just to walk away for awhile. ppl will do ok without me. take care of urself
  4. Evanesce

    Evanesce Well-Known Member

    It's fine to ask for leave and take some time away. I know you're not ok and that you are hurting. I'm not sure what you mean by do without you. I'm sure we can all understand someone needing to take a break from the site when they need time to heal and deal with hurt. I would like to see you back here again one day. Don't forgot I never asked you what was wrong with that horse. I for one have been grateful to have gotten to talk to you today. Thanks. I will try to look after myself. And I am responsible for myself as everyone else here is. I wish I could take a little or your hurt or pain away. Take care of urself as well please.
    Hope to see you when you return, and yes I said when, not if. :)
    If you need to talk before you go or when you return please let me know. I'll try to turn on my listening ear and not engage my mouth so much.
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    Hi Become,

    I am sorry to see you go. I hope it will not be forever. You are a friend to me, though I have noticed you distancing yourself lately. I tried to inbox you and for whatever reason it's saying I cannot send you messages. If you ever want to talk, I will be open to listening and trying to help. Fleurise is right though, you do need to look after yourself first and foremost... because you are important too. I am sorry that anyone here has hurt you, but hurting yourself is just going to make that pain worse... please don't self harm anymore. I will miss you and hope you will come back and talk to me soon. Take care and be good to yourself. *huggles*
  6. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i hope you will reconsider leaving us. we like you and need you.
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