I quit

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 41021, Dec 22, 2010.

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  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Fuck IT!

    I quit!
  2. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    What happened?
    Whats wrong?
    You need more detail, we can help :hug: x
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I cannot do this anymore i cannot
    I am merely human
    and i have reached the limit of my humanity
    and it's fucking killing me
    i cannot do this
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    If you mean quit life Kali then please don't give up...
  5. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I am tired :sad:

    I am soooo sooo tired
    I'm tired of fighting it
    i'm tired of trying
    i'm tired of being on the losing team, the one that didn't catch the bus
    I'm tired of seeing all the pain...the people i provide services for
    I'm just freaking tired
    I cannot do this anymore :no:
    I just can't
    i'm sick of pain
    a sea of freaking pain
    emotional and physical and not just my own
    i have just reached my ultimate limit
  6. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    Hon, could it be that the job you are doing is not very good for your emotional state in the long term ? It seems to me that you keep giving and helping dispite all the negative things that you see while doing this. maybe you need some sort of a break for a litle while ?
  7. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I cut back on my work the past year...cut corners...in a way that would not interfere with helping people.

    I'm beat
    I'm sick of this.
    this world is cruel and it sucks and it hurts too many ppl and i have just had it

    and guess freaking what? I'm human. I am human. i have a freaking heart...and that heart really hurts
    and just please...i cannot take any more dead people...no more. no more kids getting hurt...no more. but please...no more dead people. I cannot do it

    freak.... i am losing it. i am taking everything i can to calm down and it's having the opposite reaction. It's freaking hyping me up.

    I suspect i am losing it.

    I cannot do anymore :no:
    I cannot hurt anymore... :no: honestly, i really cannot. I can't do it.
    just please please i want to be held and cry
    i don't feel so good
  8. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sorry you are having such a rough day. take time for you. whatever you can to take care of you, a good book, a warm bubble bath, a phone call with an old friend. whatever you need. sending you a big hug, if okay.
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Kali. I'm sorry to hear that you're hurting so much. You seem like such a caring and helpful person. If I remember correctly, you're a nurse and if you work in the ER, then you have to expect that you will be dealing with many sick and dying patients. You can't take it personally. I'm sure that you're doing all that you can to help your patients recover, but like you said, you're only human. You have to try and not get personally attached to your patients, or else it will take a toll on your own physical and emotional health. :hug:
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    *holds Kali tight while she cries*
  11. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Can you take a holiday and take some time to come to terms with your grief?
  12. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    thank you **hugs** all I am soo soo sorry.

    No. not a nurse but in social services/community service type work.

    no escape at holiday...i wish. the only escape is trying to drug myself and still function. I so want a total perm escape.

    fragile at moment...feel like i'm walking the fence.

    and now back to work :sad:

  13. deferred dream

    deferred dream Well-Known Member

    Do your employers know about how you feel? They probably have some sort of counseling services available that could really help you. Also, please continue coming here and posting so we know you are alright. We want you to be okay. *hugs*
  14. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    did you manage to get some sleep last night hon

  15. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Sending you biggest of hugs; please protect yourself from battle fatigue...J
  16. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    with the amount of meds in me, it was the best sleep i've had in weeks.

    I am still so drained and have so much that is expected of myself (I expect from me) and so much needed by others.

    but my head is tormenting me, as is my heart :(

    xxx all
  17. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Hi. I'm also a social worker and the best thing I did was tell my employer how I felt. That opened the way to support in work.
  18. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i wish i could come live with you.
  19. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I love you Kali. :wub: Always remember that. I'm always here if you need to talk. You are an amazingly strong woman and I look up to your strength so much. I know it gets hard sometimes, but that's why I, and everyone else that loves you are here. Hang in there. :hug: xxxxxx
  20. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Be sure to get enough rest Kali. Even the guardian angels like you need some rest sometimes. You need to let yourself heal so that you can be strong to help the people you work with. :hug:
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