i am so damn tired of fighting and never getting anywhere. i worked my ass off and still failed pre-calculus..worked my ass off and barely passing english lit. the barn is in jeopardy (possibly). im a magnet for stupid jackass guys...broke myself in half again over ben, that will never be. the verbal abuse i get from my grandmother is bordering insanity (sometimes i really wanna kill her). and moving out isnt an option right now. i feel trapped, i wanna scream, i wanna run, i wanna beat the life out the first person i meet but i cant i just hold every shard of anger and pain inside and its killing me. and whats worse no one cares they see me, they see the look on my face, the burns on my skin but the ones who know whats going on dont give a shit. my best friend doesnt check or call or text to see if im ok just silence. i told her the only time she would need to worry about me was when i stopped talking...well i stopped and its like i was never there. Abby isnt quite that oblivious but shes close...the two who are supposed to understand who swore they'd never walk away like the others did...what liars. ive gone back to burning and cutting and self destructive ways. i jut dont care anymore, i should but i dont
Okay, firstly, go speak to your teachers.
Explain that you've worked your socks off and still, either aren't getting it or something is not jelling.
Any teacher, worthy of the name, should come up with a game plan.
So for you its your grandmother eh.
Mine's my mother! Am 55 years of age and she still sends me barking mad and back to feeling 13. Some people just have the knack of making a person feel worthless, useless and generally homicidal.
Used to lay in bed boiling her in oil, now I just tune her out as much as possible.
Hang in there, eventually you will be able to leave and then she'll be the sorry one.
Fellas! kick em to the curb and concentrate on you the good ones are few and far between. Much better to put your energies into being happy with you and oddly enough, a happy you will tend to attract the better ones. :smile:
As to friends who are making you feel ignored.
Have you asked out right for an ear, help etc.
If the answer is "yes" and they still aren't giving a shit, then time to find some real friends.
Though there's always the "I don't know what to do or say" at play here, its not always easy for friends to know what to do when someone is in a lot of pain, so they kind of ignore it hoping it will go away.