These past few months have taught me a lot about myself. I've been constantly told I'm spoiled, ungrateful, fat, ugly, unloved, mean, etc. Everyone tells me I can change though, but whats weird is, I'm not willing to change. I'm not motivated enough to go through years of change. I feel it wouldn't be worth it, therefore I just don't want to change. I don't want help. I just want this to end. I'm tired of looking at my face with 10 bumps on it and black rings under my eyes in the mirror. Nothing is really wrong with my life, its all me. I'm killing myself. I don't do shit to be depressed. It just happens. I'm made fun of and called names but thats just me being vulnerable and tired of fighting. I constantly compare myself to everyone. I'm also getting tired of taking a ton of names lately for admitting that a baby being brought into the world doesn't raise my happiness at all. People are right, all I think for is myself. I have no consideration for my family I guess. All this stuff I've done for my family these past few months just isn't enough. I think death is a good option for me since I've never been happy with myself and that I'm not willing to change or get help cause I don't really want it anymore. I just want death. I wanna be in the arms of the Grim Reaper his self so I don't have to be in this game no more. If only it wasn't so painful to die and if only I didn't have so long to go until I naturally die. I really am ready for you Grim Reaper. Take me away from this miserable game I have no interest in playing anymore. Visit me tonight if you may and just take me away.