I really cant cope anymore I need to get away from this world!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by needtoescape, May 3, 2008.

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  1. needtoescape

    needtoescape New Member

    Recently I overcame a mental illness, since learning to live with this illness I wanted to do all that I could to help other sufferers to join me on my journey to leading a ‘happier’ life, however I have been faced with so much criticism, people don’t seem to understand me, all I wanted to do was help others, but people just love to hate me I have been bullied my whole life!, I really cant cope anymore and I cant see any way out, for the first time since learning to live with the illness I am truly feeling seriously suicidal, I cant see a Dr or councillor as I don’t want them to know that I have failed, there are a few people who I have helped and they do look up to me, I don’t want them to think that I have gone backwards, I want to kill myself in a way that no one will know I did it, I am only a Human being I am not a super person, I am only trying to be the person that I so want to be, so why are people so insistent on putting me back in that dark place, I CANT COPE ANYMORE!, I NEED TO ESCAPE FROM THE WORLD NOW! How can I do it without anyone knowing I committed suicide? The pain inside is too much, ive tried to be strong but this is now my only way out
  2. impulse617

    impulse617 Well-Known Member

    Hey, people are probably just jealous because they have to cold of a heart to ever help anybody.

    Please hang in there, you've helped a lot of people already, you should feel proud of yourself. Don't let anybody bring you down, there's still so many people out there that need you.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    nobody will hold against you if you are having a relapse, so to speak: not us, not your doctor, not your counsellors. sometimes - for alot of reasons - we can take down turn despite working so hard. the trick is, when you see it coming, take action to stop the slide into feeling suicidal.

    you have not failed just because you are tired, and vulnerable, and thinking of suicide.

    are you still seeing your counsellor? can you call up for an appointment? if not, would you consider calling the suicide hotline in the meantime?
  4. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I think it's great that you've been able to use your experiences to help others. That's what we all would like to have happen.

    When I see a failure in someone I look up to, it doesn't destroy my opinion of them. It might do so temporarily, but eventually I come around to realize that they're human, and being in the same species, I can accept that they are bound to make mistakes.

    The people whom you've helped will realize that there are times when you will struggle and need help yourself. They know you're human and imperfect. There's no crime in that.

    Honesty is an important coping skill. I have one therapist with whom I'm totally honest. He knows things about me that no one else knows. He knows when I'm not safe, and he expresses concern to me. When I walked out of his office on Tuesday, he stopped me to ask if I was going to be ok, and told me to call him if I got into trouble mentally. Knowing that I've slipped back into the hole doesn't make him think I'm a failure. I'm fairly certainly that your counsellors understand the same about you. They expect to hear about your struggles as well as your successes. I can't see them kicking you out of the office for admitting your feelings.

    I hope you'll find ways to deal with what you're going through today.
  5. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Whichever way you kill yourself, it won't matter, 'coz you'll be dead. The people will think what they want.

    A friend of mine from high school was killed in a car accident. He slammed into a pole at high speed. That's suicide to me. It doesn't matter if it was listed as an auto fatality.
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