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I really can't do this anymore, I want to die, & I want to leave...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The Depressed Puppy, Mar 13, 2014.

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  1. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I guess this is it....

    I want to die. Everything I see is something I can use for suicide. Something I can use that will help go through with the suicide. OD would be nice,theres tons of pills in my house, or Other methods that would hopefully be more sucessful. Hopefully I won't chicken out like I always, & hopefully I can just go through with my method & die, & just be done with life.

    I don't want to try, wait for things to get better, I want to be gone, really,really,really bad.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2014
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: I guess this is it....

    don't od ok it will only cause more harm to you and you do not want to live with more pain then you are in now Just go to hospital and get the support you need so you can stop feeling so low hun hu gs
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Re: I guess this is it....

    Hi Depressed Puppy, please don't do anything bad. Like Total Eclipse says speak to someone. You are important to everyone including me. Life is tough but I know you can get through it. You are not alone. Keep posting please and take care.
  4. Chadaho

    Chadaho Active Member

    There was a while when everything I saw was a tool for suicide. I just wanted to make sure it was a good plan because my biggest fear was living thru the attempt and being a vegetable. I tried many thing that I thought would work. Every time my plan was foiled by some unforeseen problem or the plan just didn't work as I thought I would. I really wanted to die. I prayed for death. I would see a gun go off in my mind several times an hour every hour I was awake. I am here to say it can get better. You do not want to live the life you're living for reasons I don't know. I got meds, I got support from people who had a real understanding of what my mind was thinking and how I was feeling. I pro actively changed the circumstances that were in my power to change and tried not to dwell on the ones that weren't. If I can start to rise up from the hell I was in you can too. If you wish you can pm me and I can explain my hell. I can explain why and how I understand what you're dealing with. The worst part of it is thinking you're alone. You're not alone. There are people who really want you in their lives. There are real solutions to the problems. It seems as though they will never end and death is the only way to stop the pain. Its not. If you do succeed in suicide you will miss the potential that lies ahead. I am not completely better. I do however have hope for my future. You can to. Please, don't give up. Reach out. Accept help. Accept it where ever it comes from. Here, a church, a support group, a hospital. They are all little steps towards getting the life you want to live and getting away from the life making you hurt. You can take those steps.
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling like that, but please hold on. I think that deep down you don't want to die, you want the pain to stop...and you have every right to want that. Have you tried talking to a professional about those feelings? maybe they can help you with meds and counselling?
  6. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I just can't hold on anymore though, It so hard. I almost went through last night. I came so close,I wish I went through with the suicide.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do hope then you go to hospital and tell them how close you came so you can get support you need to live ok without the sadness hugs
  8. Jackie's Strength

    Jackie's Strength Staff Alumni

    I just wanted you to know that... you are not alone. I am going through this same exact thing right now, right at this moment. It gives me strength to know that you are with me in this struggle and perhaps knowing that I am there too can give you some comfort as well. I do not have the answers, but I do believe that Chadaho has some wise suggestions - I know that some of them have worked for me in the past. Right now, as you're struggling to just hold on, when perhaps it hurts just to breathe, I'd say please do everything and anything in your power to take good care of yourself. Forget about everything you can possibly forget about and just attend to you... if it means indulging in junk food and watching movies all day, then by all means do that... whatever it is you need to do to get through. I know it helps me to get some of the feelings out... perhaps there's someone you trust that you can talk to or maybe, like me, you can use an online crisis chat to get some relief... even if just a little. Again, please know that you're not alone in how you feel and do keep us updated.
  9. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    OD is bad. Saw someone who tried it once. He was in agony. EMT's heard what he had tried and were not gentle. When you OD, or try to, the body does everything it can to reject the drugs. You will throw up, writhe in agony, and possibly cause permanent damage to your intestinal tract. And you will still be alive. That's one of the problem with suicide attempts. You usually come out of them alive, and often in much worse physical shape then you could ever imagine. Do Not OD! Vote for life. Death will come soon enough.
  10. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    Thats what I am afraid, failing at a suicide attempt :( I don't even want to OD anymore, I want to do something more severe. Something that would be more successful,& that would be a lot more likely to be successful.

    How do the EMTs/Doctors/Nurses treat you if you attempt suicide?
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