i really can't take it anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nearhere, Dec 7, 2013.

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  1. nearhere

    nearhere New Member

    hi to anyone who bothers to read this, its my first post here anyway.

    ive been feeling depressed for 2 years now, especially in the winters. I've taken several tests but my parents dont care enough to think of depression as an actual illness they keep calling me crazy. im all alone. my best friend left school because she didnt like it here. my other friends dont give a fuck about me at all. Im not smart not pretty not talented. I see no future for myself, the only one i can depend on is this guy friend of mine who im in love with but he doesnt like me back. my parents keep fighting theyre constantly shouting and screaming and it hurts and i started cutting. my thigh is all cut up and its disgusting and i promised my guy friend i wouldnt but i dont want to stay here anymore it hurts too much Please help me. i wish i was happy and content but im not and i probably never will be
    it would be easier to end it but im scared of dying. im so fucking pathetic honestly. Cant live cant die. i dont deserve anything.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun sorry you are so sad. Can you talk to a teacher or a councilor at your school they can help you get some supports in place so you don't feel so alone with the depression.
    Good you are talking here too lots of us can understand and would never judge you keep talking to us ok
     
  3. nearhere

    nearhere New Member

    thank you. really. my school.. im not sure how to explain it but its really strict and i really cant talk to teachers about this stuff, we have no counsellor currently. i have tried reaching out to my friend.. But she really doesnt care. i feel really alone all the time because people pretend they understand but eventually they all get tired and leave. my best friend doesnt even take my calls anymore. i hate going to school i hate being home. i just hate living now. im constantly feeling alienated from everyone..
    i really do want to get better but i dont know how. im really scared that i might do something to myself.
     
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