i really dont know any more

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by rosky71, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. rosky71

    rosky71 Well-Known Member

    ok look idk what to think anymore. i started of really depressed and suicidal and just wouldnt come out of my house and cutting everyday. untill one day i cut too deep and couldnt get it to stop bleeding for 2 days so i called a crissis hotline thinking they could tell me how to get it to stop bleeding, but noooo they forced me to go to the hospital otherwise they would send the police and a help unit to my house. so i go to the hospital they stitch me up and said i was really close to loosing way too much blood, and me being underage they tell my mom so now my mom kows i cut. she still dosent know im in rehab for the pills and all. but now that she knows she keeps trying to talk to me and now she is calling special phycratrists to help me. and i dont want it. the past week insted of being in this depressed state ive turned into an angry person. like today when my mom told me i had an appt with that doctor i flipped so much shit on her and told her to leave me alone and just on and on. and a couple days before that i almost got into a fist fight with some dude for no reason. whatr im trying to say is i cant control this anger now and idk what to do at this point. im still depressed, but im just angry now also and at this point idk what to do but im close to doing something drastic.
  2. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    a similar thing happened to me, but it'll get better.
    just accept the phycratrist visits, they actually help.
    i know you dont want to, but your mom is doing the best for you.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You really should see the Pdoc.. There only going to try and help you.. They can also give you meds that help you control your anger..Your mom loves you and only wants what is best for you... She won't let anything bad happen to you..
  4. rosky71

    rosky71 Well-Known Member

    i mean i know she wants to help and thats what mothers do, but at the same time if i didint have to go to the hospital cuz my last cut was too deep she wouldnt have ever known ive done it for 2 years and she only found out because of the hospital. and i guess the other reason i dont wanna go is becausei dont usally talk to people about whats going on not even my friends or family. i mean talking on here to you all is easier becaus eone i dont have to be face to face and two its over the internet so like no one knows me so they cant judge m. idk its just idk about anything anymore me and my mom havent even talked since i yelled at her and all for making an appt with that doctor
  5. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i would say get some help before you end up cutting yourself one day and bleeding to death. i know that sounds harsh but if you keep doing it you may hurt yourself more than you intended like you have already.
  6. rosky71

    rosky71 Well-Known Member

    see thats the thing while i was there the doctors told my mom i was lucky i got inther cuz any longer and i could have lost wayy to much blood. but when i heard that a part of me actually wished something did happen