I didnt know that I will get to the point of writting here for help. Last time I used to think if you want to die just go and do it its so straight forward, but now one step before suicide I felt very scared, the image of that little happy times that I once had comes to my mind. Due to some illness I wasnt able to even support myself right now much less pursue my childhood dream. My family always criticise me saying that I used my health problem as a weapon to suck living expenses from them and it hurts me so much. I cut all connection with my real friends for about 6 years ago when I first got my health problem. 1 month ago, I prepared almost everything for my suicide because I lost all purpose of my life. Then 2 weeks ago, my only friend that I got to know from the internet for 2 yrs came from oversea to my country to stay for a short while. We met for the first time and had good feelings for each other. We met a few times and she even ask me whether I want to be her bf. At that time I thought Im just gonna put all my remaining strength and persevere to fix up my life. But then just now she said she is attached. So sick of life, I dont know what am I living for... Please dont say hang on for awhile more cos I already endured for 6 yrs and dont say my family cares about me cos they said that if I want to commit suicide then go ahead. Felt so tired.